words of wisdom.....

Some movies get right to the crux of the matter and start dispensing deep, meaningful dialog right from the beginning. Steve Martin's first movie, The Jerk, is one such movie. His character, Navin R. Johnson, is given three pieces of advice as he is leaving home to find his special purpose:

Lord loves a working man
Don't trust "whitey"
See a doctor, get rid of it

Navin, born a poor black child, overcomes obstacles and barriers in this rages-to-riches-to-rags-again story. The moral of the movie is that sometimes when you look for happiness, you realize that it was right in front of you the whole time.

Who couldn't build their life on such pillars of strength? Thank you, Carl Reiner, for enhancing the lives of so many people over the past 26 years with this cinematic masterpiece. I, for one, am forever changed.....

it's hurricane season.....

Being a parent can be challenging. It can also be a learning process. Like learning how to stay out of fights between sisters. I was very proud of the bride and me for doing just this last night.

It was a little after 8:00, and the girls were going through their normal nightly rituals. Then, without warning, hurricane Sara stuck, followed by tropical storm Meg. As both systems circled each other, I fully expected meteorologist-wanna-be, the bride, to step in and attempt to remedy the situation. But it didn't happen. As I sat downstairs attempting to read a book, winds apparently swept through the upstairs portion of our house because doors slammed and I heard that something got broken.

Just like any fierce storm, it was over with as quickly as it started. I stayed downstairs, determined to wait and hear the damage report from the cleanup crew who began their assesment soon after the weather cleared.

Successful parentling can only occur if one keeps his sanity. One way to do that is to regularly stay on the outside looking in. Sure there are times when being in the middle of a situation is needed. But in some cases it's just as valuable to let kids learn things on their own, rather than having their mom or dad fix things for them.....

gonna' be a long season.....

If you're a Titans fan, the NFL season could be a long one. After scoring on their opening drive, the defense gave up 34 points in the loss to the Steelers. Granted, Pittsburgh has a much better team. But the defense seemed to be lost most of the day. Tackles were missed or not finished off for most of the game. I watched part of the Ravens/Colts game last night and imagined what Baltimore's defense would do to our offense.

Centennial won again Friday night. It got a little scary in the 4th, but they were able to pull out another win. The bride and I were able to have dinner out alone at J. Alexanders before the ballgame.

The bride and I worked with some of our youth group from church Saturday. Our task was to drive 6 kids around our neighborhood and collect canned goods for Graceworks. Their food pantry has really taken a hit because of all the needs created by the hurricane. There were about 50 kids that showed up that morning, and we were able to collect enough to fill up the beds of 3 pickup trucks.

Speaking of Graceworks, that place is unbelievably busy since the hurricane. People were lined up in their cars and trucks to donate food, clothes, furniture and all kinds of other items. The bride has worked there over the past week or so, and several families from the gulf coast have come through there. She said that some of their stories will just break your heart.

back to school.....

The bride and I went to open house at Centennial last night. We came away feeling good about two things. First, we're glad that Meg's in a very good high school, one that will prepare her for college. Second, we're glad that we've already done the high school thing. I mean after working a full day and then going through a full day of classes, I was beat when we got home.

We knew the day would come when Meg would like spending time with her friends as much (or more) than her family. I remember telling her when she was about 5 that this would happen. She would roll her eyes and tell me that this just wouldn't happen. But it's just natural, all part of growing up. Adults just aren't fun to hang with on a constant basis. Last Friday night was the true sign of change, though.

The four of us were going to the Centennial game, but Meg was going to meet several friends for tailgating before the game. We told her that we'd drop her off, then we remaining three would go grab a bite to eat. On the way, Meg said that she wanted to be dropped off at Sonic where she'd wait for her friends and then walk back across the street for tailgating and the game. Being adults, that made no sense to us? Why do that? Why not just let us drop you off in the school parking lot where the tailgating takes place? So she gave in, but several hundred feet from the tailgating, she said, "OK, you can just drop me off here." Again, this made no sense to logical adults. Later we realized that she didn't want her friends (particularly her junior and senior friends) to see her dropped off by Mommy and Daddy. Then, and only then, did it make sense to us. Independence had reared its head.

Does this worry me? Not at all. I'd much rather she be outgoing than introverted. But is she embarrassed of her family? I'm sure there's a little bit of that for every teenager. Besides, I'm sure I've given her plenty of reasons to be wary of me being around her friends......

if you don't like it, you can move.....

Franklin Mayor Tom Miller has ticked a few residents off. He has received calls, letters and e-mails from some in the Franklin community who are critical of his plan to house 500 refugees at the former CPS manufacturing plant on Columbia Avenue. Mayor Miller had this to say at the Franklin City Hall meeting Tuesday night:

"For those people in the community who think we're doing the wrong thing, don't call me. Don't send me an e-mail. Because this is the right thing to do."

Some Franklin residents are concerned that crime and violence will naturally follow these people when they move into the old CPS plant.

Later, the mayor added, "These are fellow Americans.....if you don't like what we're doing - if you don't like the fact that we're bringing people from the gulf coast here - you can move."

And I thought the city of Brentwood was being snobbish us when they wouldn't let us use their library for free any more.....

and the "duh!" award goes to.....

The following is a portion of an article posted by the AP yesterday:

Kids May Mimic Parents' Smoking, Drinking
By CARLA K. JOHNSON
Associated Press Writer
September 6, 2005, 7:55 AM EDT

CHICAGO -- Preschoolers pretending to shop for a Barbie doll's social evening were more likely to choose cigarettes if their parents smoked, and wine or beer if their parents drank, a study found.

Researchers observing the children's play found that the ones who watched PG-13 or R-rated movies also were more likely to choose alcohol for Barbie.

A 4-year-old girl chose Barbie-sized tobacco in the pretend store and said: "I need this for my man. A man needs cigarettes." A 6-year-old boy offered the doll cigarettes and said: "Honey, have some smokes. Do you like smokes? I like smokes."

Parents who watched from behind a one-way mirror were surprised by their children's choices, said study co-author Madeline Dalton of Dartmouth Medical School. "It's a very humbling experience to be a parent and see your children mimic your behaviors," she said.

The study suggests that prevention efforts should target younger children, Dalton said. It was published Monday in the September issue of Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine.

Wait, I'm confused. You mean to tell me that children will actually imitate what their parents do? I've been a parent for over 15 years now, and I had no idea. Why wasn't this study done years ago so that I would have known about this BEFORE I became a parent? I know, it's the government's fault.....

To call this new information is absurd. Just spend one evening with our family around the dinner table and you'll observe learned behavior within 5 minutes after the prayer. Just be careful when anyone leans to one side.....they're not picking up a fork they dropped, they're preparing for the symphony.....

long weekend and stuff that happened.....

Long weekends make it difficult to come back to work. Especially since the weather was so perfect here, AND college football's season started.

We watched Centennial get its first win of the season Friday night, as they beat Independence 28-6. The bride kept saying something like "it's a perfect night for football", and the rest of us repeated that line several times over the weekend.

Saturday was a busy day, and one that was a bit scary at times. First, the Vols. Yes, they won, but they scared me to death. Should have been a 35-7 game, but they couldn't get things going after their first two series. So alot of things will have to improve to beat both Florida and LSU on the road. The second scary thing was the near-miss with my car.

I got up Saturday and washed both cars before the UT game started. After the game, I was going to wax my car. When I went to move my car into the garage so it would cool off, I noticed that the battery sounded a little weak. I came in and told the bride that I'd probably need to replace the battery pretty soon. After waxing my car, I got in it to move it back into the driveway. Dead as a doornail. So I decide to go inside and get the bride to steer while I push my car out of the garage. I go to put it in neutral, and I cut my wheels so that they'll be straight. Just a habit that I have, but a habit that turned out to be very valuable. I went inside to get the bride, and she said she'd be right down. While I was inside, I heard Wally barking and muttured "dumb dog, shut up!" I go back to the garage to wait for her, and the garage was empty. My car was nowhere to be seen. I looked out in the driveway, and Wally is sniffing around my car like there's something wrong. There was something wrong! It had rolled out into the driveway on its own, because I put it in neutral and didn't have the emergency brake on! The bride comes out and I said, "Is there something missing here?" She finally realized what had happened, and we both went out to survey the situation. My car had rolled out of the garage, onto the driveway, narrowly missing the bride's van. It had come to a stop on the edge of the grass. I kept thinking about the possible damage that could have occurred had I not cut the wheels straight. As Amy Grant's song says, angels watching over me..... Oh, and I did get the battery replaced Sunday afternoon at Sears.

There were about 8 families at church Sunday morning during the second service who were from either Mississippi or Louisiana. These people either knew they'd lost just about everything, or were unsure about their homes. Made me realize just how bleseed we are as a family. We all went through our closets this weekend and gathered clothes that we weren't using any more. I think we ended up with about 5-6 large bags of clothes.

Tried to do some grout work in the master bath, and something went wrong with the mixing of the grout. Worked on it for 30 minutes and gave up. I'll have to try it again in a couple of weeks.

We watched "Mr. 3000" and "Finding Neverland" this weekend. Both were good, but I liked "Neverland" better. Johnny Depp is an incredible actor. And the young kids in the movie were very good. The boy who played the role of Peter also played the part of Charlie in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."

Got the yard mowed yesterday morning, then we spent a couple of hours at the pool. Only two more weekends for the pool this year, then it'll be closed until the end of May next year. Summer is gone.

Working on trying to set up car pooling with some guys here at work. Even if I can cut my gas costs in half, that would be a big savings. I guess I'm the average American, I like the independence my car affords me. Like my dad always said, nothing's free, there's a cost to everything. Saving money on gas will cost me a little independence, but it's something that has to happen.

football time in tennessee.....

FINALLY! Kickoff is at 11:30 (CST) tomorrow! UT vs. UAB. My prediction is 45-14 UT, at least that's what it should be, but we'll see. I can't wait to see them play! This year's team has more talent from top to bottom than any team they've had in years. We usually meet Chris and Landon in Knoxville for opening weekend, but this year we're going to the Georgia game instead.

Last night, Adam "Drop Man" Jones got booed as he left the field during the Titans' last pre-season game. The fans aren't being kind to the guy. I'm not sure what he expected after holding out as long as he did.

I think I almost pushed The Bride over the edge last night with the TV remote. There were three football games going on at the same time, and I constantly switched between them for almost 3 hours. It's not that she doesn't like football, because she does, but I think she'd like to watch one game and one game only. But it was the opening night for college football, and I couldn't help myself.

3-day weekend coming up! We don't have any big plans. Centennial football tonight, UT game tomorrow, then other college games the rest of the day. I hope to wax my car tomorrow, then grout the master bathroom shower sometime this weekend. Fun stuff, I know.

happy anniversary.....

September 1, 1963, Linda Genevieve Fairchild became Mrs. Larry Wade Stapleton, Sr. Actually, Mr. Stapleton didn't have the "Sr." designation beside his name until about 10 1/2 months later when I came along.

They weren't high school sweethearts. In fact, they didn't meet until college. Dad was supposed to go to Virginia Intermont, but received a scholarship to Lincoln Memorial University at the last minute. A year later, Mom showed up on campus. Mom's roommate was Dad's roommate's girlfriend, so they set them up. Mom went to school year-round so that she could graduate in three years and with Dad. They were married after their junior year.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

things i've noticed.....

People are friendlier on payday

My children will do ALMOST ANYTHING for dessert, particularly chocolate

6-year-olds are fun to annoy

Work can be fun, but not working is a whole lot more fun

I don't like to exercise as much as I did 3 years ago

Good food is never hard to find in the South

Seems like everyone has written a book these days

Gas prices and oil company profits continue to rise - coincidence?

The older I get, the worse my handwriting becomes

Fart jokes make everyone laugh, regardless of their position in society

My dreams for the future have changed alot over the past 20 years

The world will never run out of stupid people

prayers going out.....

I love the ocean. I've been fortunate to be able to see both the Atlantic and Pacific coasts, and they're both stunning in their own unique ways. I prefer the east coast beaches to west coast, but both are beautiful.

What I've seen over the past couple of days with Katrina gives me an unbelievable respect for and fear of the ocean. I can't imagine having to evacuate my home, see my neighborhood underwater on television, then finding out that it may be MONTHS before I can return.

We have friends/former neighbors in Mobile who decided not to evacuate. The bride called a few of our neighbors this morning to see if anyone had heard from them. No luck yet.

The remnants of Katrina are being felt here today. No school for any of the kids in the mid-state area. School officials are worried that tornadoes could spawn from the heavy storms and high winds.

Our family's prayers are with all those whose lives are being effected by this storm.....

please don't let anyone get on this elevator when the doors open.....

At about 6:35 this morning, I pulled into the parking lot here at work. Normal day, nothing unusual. I got on the first elevator with two other people and pleasantries are exchanged. I got off at the first stop and walked across the building to get on the next elevator. And that's when it happened.....

I got onto the next elevator by myself, and the ride was only for one level. But someone had been on this particular elevator just before me. How could I tell? Because this person, whether it was a man or a woman (but most likely a man), had left something behind. He had obviously left behind the effects of his intestinal malady.

It didn't hit me until the doors started to close but when it did hit me, it hit me head on. Almost immediately after my first thought of, "what the!" from the odor, my next thought was, "somebody's gonna' think I did this!". Since this was such a short trip down, I had to think quick. What would I say if there was someone standing there waiting to get on the elevator when the doors opened? Or worse yet, what if there were SEVERAL people there? The stories would start, and I'd feel like I was a marked man for the rest of the day. My face got hot, and panic set it. I braced myself for the worst.

But the doors opened and no one was there waiting. I stepped out, looked both ways just in case someone was approaching, but still didn't see anyone. I hurried through the doors and down the steps to my office as fast as I could. And I was praying the whole way, "Lord, thank you for the solitude this morning....."

let's see, 20 x 5 = 100.....

I now have a reason why my waist seems to be expanding. It's my metabolism, and it appears to be slowing down.

According to an article I read yesterday, when men reach 40 their metabolism decreases by 5% each year. If this is true, I'm down almost 10% from when I was in my 30's. And because our metabolism is shrinking, we need to eat less and exercise more. If that's the case, by the time I'm 60, I'll be down to eating a speck of wheat germ and running 27 miles every day. And that's just to stay where I am, not lose any weight.

This same article mentioned that as we get into our late-30's and early-40's, our lives become busier and it leaves us with less energy (and time) to exercise. Meetings, family life, taxi driver for kids, it all factors in.

I saw a book in our church's bookstore a couple of weeks ago that looked encouraging to me. The back cover claimed that you could eat the foods you love, not exercise, and STILL lose weight. I skimmed the first 40 pages this past Sunday, and the back cover lies. The author claims that it's simple, all you have to do is substitute fresh fruit whenever you want something sweet. Easy enough. Then a couple of chapters later, it says to eat almost no bread. Then the next chapter says to "learn to love fish!" and substitute it for red meat. Again, the back cover lies.

I guess I'm going to have to do something to make my waist feel smaller.....buy bigger pants.....

it's not having what you want.....

While I may not agree with her politics, Sheryl Crow's "Soak Up The Sun" has a line in it that really makes you think: "It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got." Don Henley's song "Heart of the Matter" brings up a similar question: "What are these voices.....makes us throw off our contentment and beg for something more."

Our pastor finished up his 10-week series on the 10 Commandments this past week. His final one was, of course, the 10th one from Exodus 20:17: "You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor." He mentioned that most of us had the ox and donkey thing conquered, but he brought up several points that made you think.

Is it possible to be content any more? I think it is, but I believe it's something you have to decide to do. I think perspective is key in this situation. You have to look at what your life could be or could have been, then realize your blessings. The worst thing you can do when it comes to being content is to compare yourself to others. There's always going to be someone who makes more money, drives a better car, has a bigger house, etc.

Wanting what you've got, that's contentment.

*Please note that my including Wally's picture in my blog in no way constitutes my true feelings for the dog. I was looking for a picture that said "content", and this is what I came up with. If I got to lay around all day long and sleep, I'd be pretty content, too.

these crooks actually do have sticky fingers.....

BROWNSVILLE, Ore. - It could have happened to anyone: Charles Gastorf and his wife, Cheryl, forgot to pay the $10 tab for 10 bags of steer manure during a recent shopping trip to their local Wal-Mart.

The two say that in the confusion of shopping on that March day they simply forgot to add in the cost of the manure. When the Gastorfs explained their forgetfulness to Lebanon City Attorney Tom McHill, he dropped shoplifting charges against them.

That could have been the end of the story — except for the letter from the world's largest retailer that soon arrived in their mailbox, demanding $175 in civil damages. That's when the Gastorfs learned about a little-known Oregon law that allows retailers to pursue civil penalties regardless of whether a person is found guilty or innocent of theft.

The Gastorfs — who live in a manufactured home and are retired — spoke to an attorney, who told them that challenging the action in court could cost them several thousand dollars, much more than the $175 civil claim.

So the Gastorfs paid Wal-Mart the money.

"We wouldn't want to embark on a life of crime at our ages and become manure thieves. I mean, if you were going to steal something, would you steal manure?" Gastorf said.

But Shardon Weber, a spokeswoman for Bentonville, Ark.-based Wal-Mart, told The Albany Democrat Herald that the company has decided to refund the Gastorfs' $175.

"It simply seems like the right thing to do," she said.

*Did you happen to see the name of the product in the picture above? Is the company trying to be like Starbucks or what?

even a cup of cold water.....

You see them all over the place, expecially in larger cities. Most of the time they're standing alone with a sign. Maybe one car in twenty rolls down their window and slips them some money. The other nineteen pretend as though no one is there. If you're like me, you're one of the nineteen.

We're usually scared that something will happen. Or that we'll not know how to handle ourselves when they approach. Most of all, we just don't want to get involved. They should be spending their time looking for a job instead of begging. Like we know what's gone on in their life up to this point.....

On my way home from a meeting last week, I needed to stop off in Brentwood for something. As I started up the ramp, I noticed a lady in her late-20's or early-30's standing on the side of the ramp with a sign. The temperature was in the mid-90's, and she appeared to be a bit sunburned and very hot. As usual, I avoided making eye contact. I looked in the rearview mirror, and an older couple in the car behind me made an even more concerted effort to avoid the lady by steering their car a little more to the right as they approached her. The lady held her ground, occasionally looking around. The whole time, I'm wondering what I'll do if she decides to go from car to car. I look in my mirror again, and a guy about my age pulls up a couple of cars behind me in line in a Volvo. I see his arm reach out towards her. He hands her a bottle of cold water, so cold that there are large beads of water on the outside, along with a bill of some sorts, maybe a one or a five. As I continue to look back, I see him smiling towards her. The older couple behind me have this "what is he doing?" look on their faces. The light turned green, and the guy in the Volvo smiles and waves to her. The lady turns and waves to him with a smile. I drove off admiring the guy in the Volvo, and questioning my selfishness and fears.

I kept thinking about a verse in Matthew where Jesus talked about giving as little as a cup of cold water. The water and the money were probably no big deal to the guy in the Volvo, but more than likely they meant alot to the lady on the side of the ramp.

uh, oh, yeah, hi.....

Ah, the joys of running into half of a divorced couple.

It's amazing to the bride and me that so many of our friends over the years are now divorced. We used to belong to a church where we made a huge amount of couple-friends. We're up to two hands now on counting how many have parted ways. Some surpised us, others didn't.

The first time you run into one of the divorced partners who's now with someone else can be a little awkward. Happened to us the other day at church.

"He-ey! I can't believe it, how are you?"

At first we were both thinking, "OK, I know you, I know I know you, but I'm as lost as last year's Easter eggs on your face right now. You really look familiar, but I have no idea who the person standing beside you is. The person I'm used to see you standing beside looks nothing like this person." All this is going on during a hug from the other person. Then it hits us. "Hey, how are you, *****?"

We've lost touch with so many of our old friends. You change churches, your kids do different things, and before you know it the connection's no longer there. When a divorce occurs, we usually hear information 3rd and 4th-hand, so we're never quite sure how much is true. Then again, how much do we really want to know about what happened?

Frank Burns from MASH said "Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce." You just can't buy wisdom like that.....

not good enough for brentwood.....

Unless something changes, I went to the Brentwood library for the last time yesterday. I dropped off my book in the book depository and drove off. You see, Brentwood officials have decided to charge an annual fee of $50 per person to anyone who uses their library but does not live within the city limits of Brentwood. Even though Brentwood is in Williamson County, other county residents are not allowed to freely partake of the library beginning September 1. And even though they do receive county funding (albeit a small percentage of their total budget). Brentwood officials said they asked for an increase in funding, but that the county declined. I'm sorry, but Brentwood asking for more money is like Terrell Owens saying he needs more money because he can't feed his family on $9M a year.

I'm sure the Brentwood Library will become the elitist museum/country club they want it to become. After September 1, all of us non-residents will either "pony-up" with the money to be included in their priviledged society, or we'll be forced to go to our own dreary little local libraries.

The Brentwood library is as nice as any Borders or Barnes & Noble. I've used it for the past 15 months mainly because it's on my way to and from work. They have a good selection of books, although they need to have a better way to link what's in their online inventory and what's actually on the shelf. I'll miss going there, but I'm a little ticked off that they're doing this.

But not as ticked off as one guy who wrote a letter to the editor last week. The bride left a copy of it on the dresser for me to read, and she said she had to look twice to make sure I wasn't the author. I couldn't have said it any better myself. Here's an excerpt of the letter:

The recent decision in Brentwood to allow only Brentwood city residents access to their coveted library — excluding other Williamson County residents — has implications for the future of Brentwood and Williamson County. Here are some future headlines and news snippets from a world ruled by Brentwood librarians and the Brentwood City Commission:

• "Brentwood Police Begin 'Pay-Per-View' Program." Upon orders from the Brentwood police commissioner, police will begin charging $25 for any nonresident who asks for directions. He insisted that the fee was necessary, since nonresidents do not contribute toward taxes to compensate officers for valuable "doughnut time." "The city is becoming so crowded," he explained, "we just can't have people roaming the streets looking at our stuff."
• "Brentwood Tollbooths Paying Off." The Brentwood mayor today issued a statement declaring success of the recent tollbooth installations on all Brentwood streets. "Charging nonresidents to drive on our streets is really paying off," he claimed. The mayor went on to say, "Not that we actually needed the money. … I just like having the streets to myself without all those other people around. It's so quiet."
• "Brentwood City Parks Under Control." The new initiative to properly secure all Brentwood city parks and recreation areas is going well, according to the director of parks and recreation. "Since library attendance has been cut in half," he announced, "we have been able to use our librarians to patrol city parks and recreation areas to deport aliens (any person without a certified Brentwood Library card) to Franklin." Becoming slightly emotional, he concluded, "There is nothing more exhilarating than a librarian exerting their authority over nonresidents." The Brentwood children's librarian, tasked with patrolling city playgrounds to ask nonresident children to leave, added: "Literacy and reading is obviously important. Well, as long as it's within the Brentwood city limits."
• "Alabama Man Loses Car in Brentwood Fire." While stopping to refuel at a Brentwood gas station, an explosion of unknown origin ripped through the establishment. The Brentwood Fire Department responded quickly and extinguished the flames — except for the Alabama automobile. The Brentwood fire chief told reporters that "he should not have been in Brentwood anyway and he doesn't pay our salaries," but he was quick to point out that "firemen offered free marshmallows to all Brentwood residents that gathered to watch the car burn."
• "Tornado Siren Blocking Device Installed." "We were shocked," the Brentwood public works technology director exclaimed, "when we found out that the 10 'early warning system' sirens (used to alert Brentwood residents of potential tornado conditions) were loud enough for nonresidents to hear." In response, Brentwood has erected a 250-foot barrier around the city specially designed to block sound waves that attempt to leave Brentwood. "Brentwood taxes paid for those sirens, so only Brentwood residents should hear them," he commented.

Yes, believe it or not, that was the edited version. He had a couple of other examples, but I picked out the best ones.

Brentwood and Franklin libraries have had a book swap relationship over the years. If you're at the Brentwood library and they don't have what you're looking for, you can have the book shipped from Franklin. I wonder if that will still be in effect on September 1? Or would a Brentwood resident accept a book if they knew it came from the lowly Franklin library?

As I was leaving the drive-through at the library yesterday, there was a lady in her mid-50's holding a clipboard, standing on the curb just past the book depository. I still had my window down so she smiled and said, "Excuse me, sir. We're taking a survey, and I wondered if I could ask you a few questions?" I smiled back and said, "I don't think I'm the best person for you to ask questions about my satisfaction with the Brentwood library." Her head tilted to the side, and she had a confused look on her face. "Why's that, dear?" I looked at her and said, "Well, I'm not a Brentwood resident, and for me to be a part of your survey I would probably have to pay you something." I then rolled up my window and headed south on I-65.....*

*OK, that last part was made up, but wouldn't that have been cool?

back to school.....

When I left the house this morning at 6:15, I could hear Sara singing and Meg drying her hair. The bride called me around 7:30 to tell me how quiet things were around the house. School is officially back in session.

Sara actually started back last Friday. Meg has 1/2 day today, then gets into the swing of things full-time tomorrow. (Following in her father's footsteps, Meg waited until this past weekend to do her summer reading and projects.)

I remember my first day of school in first grade. Mom was so flustered that she backed out of the garage without opening the door. Thankfully, the other eleven years of first days didn't yield any other types of home damage.

On another note, Meg and I got to go to the Titans' first pre-season game Friday night. In all honesty, it could be a long season. I saw some good stuff, and I saw some bad stuff. Too many penalties, for one thing. (However, the officiating DID leave alot to be desired on a couple of calls.) Travis Henry will be a great back for them IF they block for him. McNair looked better until the interception. The defense needs to wrap up on tackles. The young wide receivers look very promising.

killing two birds with one stone.....

I like efficiency. I like to be able to do one thing and accomplish another at the same time. Multi-tasking just gives me all kinds of grins and giggles. I realize that multi-tasking isn't always possible. Like when I'm reading? I have to focus on whatever it is I'm reading. I can't (successfully) watch a football game and read a book at the same time. Tried it last night during the Packers/Chargers pre-season game, and it didn't work.

But I was able to "light two candles with one flame" (new one I heard the other day) when I posted my blog on Wednesday. Not only did it provide reading for those who chose to read it, it also "offended" someone. And it offended someone I love to offend! I won't mention her name (J. Harris, to protect her identity), but I had a very long e-mail from her requesting that I remove certain accusatory comments from my post. Long story short, she didn't have a leg to stand on. I thanked her for being a loyal reader, but declined her appeal.

I love multi-tasking.....in fact, I may have been successful at it again today!

yeah, uh-huh, right.....

Sounds to me like Dagmar had had just about enough of Frauke.....

BERLIN (Reuters) - A 75-year-old German was so shocked he had accidentally run down his wife he started forward and drove over her again, authorities said on Wednesday.

Police in the western town of Bad Nauheim said the man compounded his 73-year-old wife's misery after an onlooker told him he had just run her over while backing out of a parking space. The woman was rushed to hospital and survived.

ugliest pet on the planet.....

While shopping at the Friendly Center in Greensboro last week, we walked into a pet store. Of course, both girls wanted to get at least one dog out each. I was able to use the "we're about to eat, you don't want to get dirty" line that dads like to use. As I'm walking around looking at the aquariums, fish, lizards and other reptiles, the bride said, "Have you seen the skinny pigs?"

I immediately thought she was slurring her words. After all, she'd been with Jennifer all morning so I wasn't sure what kind of trouble they'd gotten into. (Jennifer was a bad influence on the bride growing up. She used to spit on people from the top of the bleachers at the Nashville Sounds games. So you understand my concern.....) So she takes me to the front of the store to see these hideous things.

If Satan had a pet, this would be it.

Skinny pigs are actually a mutation of the guinea pig, and came from several labs in Canada in 1978. They're born without the gene that produces hair. They're also born without the gene that produces cute.

Some people have pets that are so ugly they're cute. Like an English bulldog. They have these rolls of extra skin, they're short and stocky, and a huge underbite. But they're cute in spite of their appearance, plus they usually have great laid-back personalities. These things? How could they have any kind of personality? And the odor matches their looks.

Needless to say, there won't be a skinny pig in our house any time soon.....

open mouth, then maintain your innocence.....

Some of the best blessings in my life are things like a hug or an "I love you, Daddy" from one of my girls. As a dad, there's nothing better. On the other hand, the biggest curse for a father is innocently (I repeat - innocently) saying something to your daughter and having them burst into tears.

Women have known for years that men just don't get the total communication game. And for the most part, we men have accepted that. As a father of WITs (women-in-training), just add more complication into the equation. We think we know our daughters, know just what to say and how far we can go with a particular subject, but we never fully know.....until the tears start. If we could just figure out the step right BEFORE the tears start, then we could stop the progress and avert the crisis altogether.

There is one component that is extremely helpful. It's called information. Information is key to communication. This is where the wife comes in. If the husband has information about certain hot buttons, he'll better know what to avoid. This isn't foolproof, however. I've been known to possess information about subjects and still go the extra mile in upsetting a daughter (or two); not to be mean, but rather to hopefully lighten the mood on a particular subject.

As Ray Barone said on another subject in an "Everybody Loves Raymond" episode, "The monkey never learns....."

random ruminations.....

I had the best front 9 of my life Friday afternoon. Dad and I played at Tri-Cities in Blountville, and we started off on the Lakes course. 1 birdie, 6 pars and 2 bogies. I'm thinking I'll break 80 for the first time in my life. Before I tee off on the back 9, I'm thinking that all I need is a 43 or less to do it. 2 holes into the back 9, the Woods course, I realize the dream won't happen that day. I double-bogied #10, then had a big, fat, obnoxious 7 on a par 3. Ugly. I settled down after that but ended up with a 47 on the back. My 83 wasn't anything to complain about, by any means, but a 42 would have been alot nicer. However, getting the opportunity to play 18 with my dad was worth more than a 79 would have ever been. (On a side note, I was feeling pretty good about my 36 on the front 9 Friday. I had a message from a friend from Wednesday who called from the golf course to tell me he got his first hole-in-one. There's always somebody who can one-up you, huh?)

Tony Kornheiser has a term that I think is hilarious. I've hearn him refer to an overweight person as being "a big ol' tub of goo." After my doctor's appointment this morning, I believe I am now one of those big ol' tubs of goo. When I saw the reading on the scale it shocked me, even though it shouldn't have. Sure, some of it's from being on vacation last week and eating everything that wasn't nailed down, but most of it has crept back onto my frame over the past year. I've GOT to get back to eating right (translation - nothing) and exercising on a regular basis. Maybe I'll pick up some Goo-Gone next time I'm in Wal-Mart.

We went to the Williamson County Fair last night. Our purpose for going was to attend the worship service called "The Gathering", but that didn't pan out for us. First, it didn't start on time. Second, they changed the lineup of those scheduled to lead worship. Third, it was hot inside the exhibit center. So we ended up walking around and watching the girls ride rides. (I actually rode one; more on that later.) We saw a ton of old friends, some that we keep in contact with via e-mail, some we've just lost touch with over the years. What is there about good friends that allow you to see each other, hug and still feel like you see them on a daily basis?

As for my lone ride appearance last night, it will be my last. Sara wanted to ride something called the Moon Shot or something like that. The picture to the left is the basic ride. I need some Pepto after just looking at the picture itself. Sara wanted to ride Moon Shot, but couldn't talk any of her friends into riding it with her. The bride didn't want her to ride it alone, so against my better judgement I told Sara I'd ride it with her. Understand that fear of the ride itself doesn't come into play. I'm not scared of the speed or the height. My fear is of the feeling I get AFTER the ride is over. Even since I hung over the bushes barfing beside the Tea Cups ride in Disney World about 10 years ago (while at a conference and WITH a co-worker who's never let me live it down), I've had this thing about motion rides. The ride starts, and it's no big deal. Then the sadistic Moon Shot operator decides to let us hang upside-down, just like in the picture, but for about 3 1/2 hours. TWICE! I didn't regain normalcy for the rest of the evening.

OK, now that vacation is over, I can officially start my countdown to Christmas. 138 days* and counting.....

*I did a quick search on Yahoo for a Christmas countdown site, and it directed me to an Auburn University site. I say this because since it's an Auburn site, the information there may or may not be correct. After all, last year their football team thought they were #1, when they were obviously no better than #2. Evidently they never saw USC play last year.....

busy couple of days.....

Tuesday and Wednesday were pretty busy for us. Tuesday started off with Mark and me teeing off at Bryan Park Champions Course at about 7:45. Good front nine for me, but the wheels fell off on the back nine. Beautiful course, though, and very fun to play. We met the bride, Jennifer and the girls at Friendly Center for lunch and shopping that afternoon. Then we ate at Green Valley Grill in the O'Henry Hotel that evening. The food was wonderful and no one left hungry

We left for Johnson City Wednesday morning around 10:00 and decided to stop off in Blowing Rock, NC for a little shopping, eating and just walking around town. The weather was perfect - a slight breeze and about 72 degrees. We're not used to that kind of weather in August! The town was beautiful, very quaint with old shops and lots of charm. Lunch was at Tijuana Fats, and while the service was slow (the bride said they just operated at a slower speed in Blowing Rock) the food was very good. After that we went in and out of the shops and just enjoyed the day. We met up with quite a bit of rain on the way to JC, but the scenery for the entire day was spectacular. The mountains of NC and Tennessee are hard to beat.

Today's been a lazy day so far. We're taking the girls to see "Sky High" after lunch. Tomorrow afternoon Dad and I are going to play golf. I can't remember the last time I played golf 3 times in a week. Not that I'm complaining.....

emerald point.....

If you like water parks, visit Emerald Pointe in Greensboro, NC. Sara and I spent a good deal of our day on Daredevil Drop and the Twin Twisters, both pictured here. Both rides are about 90 feet up. The hardest parts of the ride are both the climb up (felt every bit of my 41 years on the ascent) and looking down right before going off.

We're all a little sunburned, but it was alot of fun. Or as Sara said today, funner than fun.

on the road.....

We’re on our way to North Carolina. I’m in one of the middle seats in the van while Meg drives on I-840. The bride is quite nervous as the co-pilot, barking instructions such as “keep it at 70”, “eeeeaaaase over into the right lane” and “don’t worry about the motorcycle guys.” While trying to “guide” Meg back into her lane, the bride looked as if she was attempting to balance herself on a skateboard. Something about the way she was using her hands.

We’ve got about 475 miles to cover today, and Meg’s handling the first 45 or so. This is an odd feeling for me, riding rather than driving. It’s not all bad. I rather enjoy sitting here and typing. I could even go for watching a movie later, but I know that won’t happen. The bride is awake now, but once I take the wheel again it’ll be a different story. For the 18 years that I’ve known her, an interstate sign to her is like a sleeping pill for most people.

It’s nice to be able to look around and enjoy the scenery. Middle Tennessee is a beautiful place. I’m looking forward to seeing the mountains of NC this week, though. Someone asked me yesterday if I missed the mountains. Part of me does, but I’ve always felt that home is where your family is, not a particular plot of real estate. Not that I’d ever really be able to get my 3 girls out of Franklin, but if I did, wherever we went would be home for me. Billy Joel said it best in his song, “You’re My Home”: “wherever we’re together, that’s my home.”

So here’s to taking my “home” on the road for the week. Memories will be made this week, fun will be had by all.

for the birds.....

I don't know what it is, but we keep having bird problems at our house. They've flown into our garage several times over the past few months. The dog goes nuts chasing them and we have to contain him and get the bird out. (Meg said the reason we keep getting birds in the garage is because God wants us to have a bird. I disagreed. I've not trusted birds since I saw Hitchcock's movie as a child.)

Last night at 11:11 PM, I was asleep. I'd been asleep for about 40 minutes or so. I was awakened by the sound of our bedroom door opening. (I'm not the most coherent person when I'm awakened in the middle of the night. I'm sure if the house was on fire or if there was an emergency, I'd be able to function nicely solely on adrenaline.) As my eyes opened slightly, I could see the bride and Meg standing in the doorway. I vaguely remember them saying something about a bird being in the chimney. I lumbered into the den, feeling dizzy as I turned the corner. The sound was something between a bird and a sound effect from a video game. I went to the kitchen to get a flashlight, and of course the batteries were almost dead. The bride fetched a flashlight from upstairs, and we looked among the ceramic logs to make sure the bird hadn't fallen into the grate of the fireplace. When I summized that the bird was evidently laying/sitting on the door of the flue, I went back to bed - nothing I could do in my current state. As I lay in bed, wondering how we were going to get this bird out without it flying through the house, I couldn't go to sleep. When I got out of bed this morning, my body thought I was playing a cruel joke on it. No way did I just get any sleep. Stupid bird.

So if it's still there when I get home tonight, the bride and I will attempt to capture the bird and set it free outside. I just don't want the thing to die and start to decay.....

so, what do you do for a living.....

Imagine this guy's kids, cringing every year when it's time to have parents come to school for career day.....

Researcher Measures the Gases Cows Emit

DAVIS, Calif. - In a white, tent-like "bio-bubble" on a farm near Davis, eight pregnant Holsteins are eating, chewing and pooping — for science. "The ladies," as they're called by University of California researcher Frank Mitloehner, are doing their part to answer a question plaguing one of California's largest agricultural industries: How much gas does a cow emit?

The findings will be used to write the state's first air quality regulations for dairies and could affect regulations nationwide.

But before he explains how it works, Mitloehner wants one thing to be clear.

"We're not talking about flatulence," he says.

He emphasizes the point because his research has been dismissed as "fart science," a label he says doesn't do justice to the seriousness of his work.

apparently, he still uses leaches.....

I know a person who has been coughing for one month - solid. About every 2-3 minutes, I hear a series of barks. On top of that, this person says that the cough limits her sleep to about 3 hours a night. A couple of weeks ago I suggested they see a doctor about this nagging cough. The reply was "No, I know my doctor wouldn't prescribe anything for it. He doesn't like to write prescriptions." (I had bad allergies as a child. Dr. Flannary kept me on some kind of medication most of the year. To my knowledge, I never suffered any ill effects from the medication. Although Mom and Dad said that I liked to listed to Pink Floyd alot while I was sick. Must have been the medicine.)

I'm not a doctor. I've never pretended to be a doctor. I have no medical training. But seems to me that if I were a doctor and a patient came to me with a chronic cough, I'd figure out some way to cure this person.

Maybe I'm wrong, but there's one of two things going on here. Either this person doesn't like going to the doctor, or the doctor uses leaches to bleed away illnesses. Either way, I think I'd be looking for another doctor.

an interesting find.....

After mowing in the sauna that we call the outdoors last night, I started putting up my lawn equipment. As I wheeled my mower back to its spot, I noticed a notebook on the garage floor. Since Sara holds "school" out there, I assumed it belonged to one of her "students." I started to put the notebook in one of the cubby holes, then decided to read a little bit of it. What I discovered was a bit surprising. Apparently Wally, the dog, has been keeping a journal. Here's Saturday's entry (along with his artwork from another part of the journal):

Rough day today. Got up, went outside, ate some food, took a nap. Had a bird trapped in my room, they call it a garage. The woman put me in a cage while the man got it out of my room. Tracked it for a few minutes, took a nap. Ate some more, took a nap. Barked at a few dogs. Not much new.

That man must really like me. He's always so loud when he talks to me. I guess he wants to make sure I can hear him. What a guy! I've figured out how to get him to give me extra food. Any time I need a snack, I just go outside and start barking. After a few barks, he puts food in my crate and closes the door to my room.

I play the "poor, pitiful me" card and Susie falls for it every time. It has been hot lately, so she made me some kind of flavored ice thing. She likes me too, I can tell. She likes to sit on the steps with me.

Meg and Sara are always good for alot of attention, although I don't see them much in the summer. They're always inside where it's cool. Me? I've got my room and my concrete floor, so it could be alot worse. Like I always tell my friend, Moe, I could still be wandering the streets of Clarksville, so life is good.

two observations, and some other stuff.....

Here's a couple of things I observed over the weekend:

Why I believe that people are smarter than dogs - I've yet to see a human being take a whiz and have another human beling come up and sniff the results. I'm just sayin'.

Hair color and females - Women/girls have this strange facination with (1) wanting to change/enhance their hair color, and (2) wanting to change the hair color of their friends. Maybe things have changed quite a bit over the past 20+ years, but I don't remember any of my friends in high school or college ever asking me if they could color my hair. Again, I'm just sayin'.

I turned 41 on Saturday. I remain very blessed to have 3 beautiful ladies in my life who love me despite my one or two (thousand) faults. On the way to dinner Saturday night, we played the "are we going to make it to Chili's on this tank of gas" game. We set the trip computer on the van to the countdown mode, where the display allowed us to view just how much further we could go on our current tank of gas. We went the last two miles seeing that we could go approximately 1 mile more. I felt like Kramer and "that other guy" from the Saab dealership, trying to see just how far past the "E" we could go. Actually, I didn't really enjoy the game all that much. I'm one of those people who can't stand to see the "low gas" light come on in the car. We did make it the the Kroger gas pumps in time. I don't plan on playing that game again anytime soon.

don't throw that away.....

Ask anybody in our house and they'll tell you that I'm quick to get rid of things. My logic is that if you haven't used it in 12 months, you're probably never going to use it again, so go ahead and get rid of it. And the way I get rid of things is to give them away or throw them away. I HATE garage sales with a passion. Too much hassle for too little return.

One of my favorite toys growing up was Billy Blastoff. With the first moon walk happening July 20, 1969, any toy having to do with rockets or outer space was hot. (I remember my birthday cake had a plastic rocket on top of it when I was 5.) That Christmas, Billy Blastoff was under the tree for me.

A few nights ago I was browsing on e-Bay and decided to look for Billy Blastoff. Holy cow! Sets that may have cost $20-$30 in 1970 are now going for sometimes $300 and up. The single Billy action figure costs around $50.

So if you or your kids have a quirky toy, hang onto it for a little while. They could be worth something one day.....

chappelle wouldn't call this "keeping it real".....

Yep, this one's for real. I heard about it while driving in this morning.....

LONDON (Reuters) - The word "fail" should be banned from use in British classrooms and replaced with the phrase "deferred success" to avoid demoralizing pupils, a group of teachers has proposed.

Members of the Professional Association of Teachers (PAT) argue that telling pupils they have failed can put them off learning for life.

A spokesman for the group said it wanted to avoid labeling children. "We recognize that children do not necessarily achieve success first time," he said. "But I recognize that we can't just strike a word from the dictionary," he said.

The PAT said it would debate the proposal at a conference next week.

so far, so good.....

Any time something appears too good to be true, I typically shy away from it. However, we decided to try blockbuster.com (at least through the summer) and see how well it works. We've signed up for it 11 days ago and so far we've been pleased.

One key to this thing is that you have to be able to watch at least 4 movies per month in order to break even. We got our 4th movie yesterday, so we're now at the breakeven point. Oh, and the commercials say to keep the movies as long as you want? That's another key - watch the movie and return it so that they can send you the next movie in your queue. The other key is your queue. You can keep up to 30 movies in your queue, so that when one movie is returned they can send you the next movie in your queue automatically. And since the bride and I rarely see a movie in a theater, there are TONS of movies for us to watch. Plus, we're receiving the movies from the Louisville distribution center, so they're getting here in about 2 days.

Quick movie reviews of the 3 we've watched so far:

Fat Albert - made me cry.....for the kids who never got to see the original cartoon. I remember watching it every Saturday afternoon at 12:30. Much better than the movie. The best part was the cameo by Dr. Cosby himself.

Friday Night Lights - very good movie. I found it to be a little slow the first 45 minutes, but it picked up quite a bit the last 75 minutes. Great camera work. Plus, the guy who plays the quarterback is the same guy who played Frank, the little boy in Sling Blade.

Spanglish - starring my mom's favorite actor, Adam Sandler. I like all of his movies, and this one was no exception. The whole cast is great. Very good storyline.

In closing, I heartily endorse blockbuster.com.....and we plan to use it at least until the fall season starts.....

it's back.....

The madness known as Bunco makes its way back tonight on Glendower. Some of the names have changed, but the routine is the same.

I'm convinced that the Bunco sydicate orchestrated the moves on our street in the past few months. (Both guys moved hours away with much better paying jobs? Come on.....) Someone, like me, gets wise to the whole farce and they have to shake things up. Bring in some new players. Last month they "conveniently" didn't meet, stating that they couldn't come up with a good time. Likely story. This month? Some of the moms sent their kids off to church camp just so they could feed their habit without taking on any guilt. At least for this month they won't have to look at their already-sleeping child when they come home at who-knows-what time. Shameless.

Here's a new twist. One of the bunco players has asked Meg to babysit tonight during the game. Maybe I'm way out in left field here, but this has never happened before. Are they trying to lure an innocent 15-year-old girl into the mix? Sure, get 'em while they're young, and you'll have a convert for life. Do I let them go through with it? Such a dilemma. If I raise a stink, they'll know I'm onto them.

Just another chapter in the life of a guy who's married to someone with an addiction.....

thanks, jack.....

I just learned that Jack Nicklaus played his last round of competitive golf today. He didn't make the cut at the British Open at St. Andrews. Talk about a classy and competitive person. True to form, even though he didn't make the cut, he birdied number 18.

Thanks for the memories, Jack! Tiger may be the best right now, but you will always be the standard of excellence for all golfers.

Can you tell that someone's happy? The "special" wallet was purchased on the way home to display the learner's permit. 

monumental day.....

per-mit
function - noun
1: a written warrant or license granted by one having authority [a gun permit]
2: permission

Just after 10:00 yesterday morning, I saw Meg's cell phone number appear on my phone's screen. "Daddy, guess what???? I got my learner's permit! I only missed 3 on the test, and the people in front of me failed! I'm so excited!!!!! But I'm not driving now because it's raining really hard....." I said, "Well, I think it's best if you don't drive for a year or so anyway." To which she replied, "Yeah, right!!!!!" The bride later said that Meg smiled the whole day, just beaming from her new achievement.

Then last night after supper, I rode in the car with my daughter driving for the first time. Talk about your strange feelings! I rarely ride with anyone. Most times that I get in a car, I'm driving. So not only was I not driving, I was being driven by my 15-year-old daughter. Meg's training to this point has been administered by the bride's father. Ken is very patient and does very well with Meg. When we left last night, I told myself that I wouldn't raise my voice. I cautioned her on a couple of things, but I never raised my voice. All in all, she did very well. With time and experience, she'll be fine. I still can't believe I have a daughter who's old enough to drive.....

On a completely different subject, I had a hard time sleeping last night. And I'm sure every good Southern male had the same problem. Why, you ask? Excitement, my friend. We're all excited because.....HOCKEY IS BACK, EH!!!!!! (I think ESPN showed the highlights of hockey fans lining up to kiss Jeremy Roenick's posterior.) Add to that the fact that the Titan's top draft choice confirmed for us all that he's a punk, and you've got yourself one restless night.....

thinking about an apartment.....

Home ownership - the American Dream. It's what most people in this country strive to achieve. But how good did we have it in an apartment and we just didn't know it?

The bride and I were outside the other night enjoying a rare comfortable Middle Tennessee summer evening. Over the past 12 months we've had to: replace the upstairs air unit; replace the downstairs carpeting; replace all of our windows; have the roof repaired (new one installed just 2 years ago, but that company is no longer in business); repair the downstairs air unit; and replace 75% of the blinds in the house. I looked at the bride and said, "Wouldn't it just be easier and cheaper to move into an apartment?" We laughed because we'd never actually do it, but there's some logic there.

Think about it. When you live in an apartment, you don't have to replace or repair anything. It's taken care of by the apartment complex company. Air conditioning goes out? Call the super and he'll have it fixed. Roof leak? Call the super. And you'll never live anywhere that's less expensive. Oh, sure, your house payment may be the same or less than your rent, but then you've got all the other things - taxes, insurance, maintenance, repairs. And you no longer have the super - you have to hire a handyman, or call a plumber or an electrician. And it almost always happens all at once.....

As tempting as it is to move into an apartment, I don't think we'll be going anywhere soon. We like our house, our neighborhood, our neighbors (well, most of them), and it's convenient to everything we need. But if anyone who reads this lives in an apartment and can't wait to get into a house, just make sure you're ready for it. And remember, the Douglases had it made in New York City in their penthouse apartment; then Oliver just had to be a farmer and move them to Hooterville. Lisa instantly became a homeowner, and she was never the same again.....

maybe it's just me.....

I met the bride and the girls at Green Hills Mall during lunch yesterday. Apple has a retail outlet there, and we had some trouble using the i-Trip adapter for Meg's iPod Mini, so we went to get some expert advice. Let me just say that the Apple people are very creative with all their accessories for the iPod products. Part of me thinks that creative is just another word for high-priced rip-off stuff, the other part of me is jealous that I didn't think of it first. (I mean, come on, socks for your iPod? Who comes up with this stuff?) We learned that the i-Trip doesn't work all that well in the Nashville area. It's supposed to transmit music from your iPod to an FM frequency and play through any stereo. Well, it does play, but the distortion is terrible. We talked to another customer there who suggested we try something different, so we're going to go that direction with it.

If you live in the Nashville area, you know there's really no good (quick) way to get from downtown to Green Hills. Even the back streets can get congested. True to form yesterday, I hit every possible red light on the way out there. I left my three girls at the mall and headed back to work. The traffic lights weren't as bad, but I got behind every possible old person that was out yesterday. The first guy didn't get above 25 in a 35; followed him for 1.2 miles. Just when I thought I was free, I got behind another guy doing 15 in a 40; this went on for almost 2 miles. And it wasn't like he was lost, looking for a street to turn on, he was just slow. So here's what I'd like for Congress to propose:

If you are retired and you must be on the roads between the hours of 11:00 AM and 1:00 PM (when people who work normally take their lunch hour - again, it's just an hour), you must go the speed limit. If not, you are subject to a citizen's arrest. First offense, your license will be suspended for 1 month. Second offense, your license will be suspended for 6 months. Third offense, complete loss of license for 1 year you have to pay the car insurance for the person who arrested you for 1 year. Seems fair enough to me.

Next I've got to work on retirees taking all the good doctor's appointments.....

another sign you're getting old.....

Remember The Lion King, and the song "The Circle of Life"? Life is pretty circular. Things you may have hated to do years ago, you now find yourself loving. Like naps.

When I was little, I hated to take naps. When the girls were little, we sometimes struggled getting them down for naps. But as you get older, your body wants more rest. Maybe not extra hours and hours of sleep, but more rest.

Why did I need a nap yesterday? The bride called me cranky just before eating lunch. (Seems like I remember that being an excuse we used to use when we wanted the girls to take a nap.) I can't imagine why I was "cranky", if in fact that is an accurate term. It probably had nothing to do with pressure washing the house for 3 hours Friday night. And I'm sure it had nothing to do with washing windows all day on Saturday.

So we got home from church, ate some lunch, then I mowed the yard. Nice and humid yesterday, right before the remnants of hurrican Dennis hit our area last night. After a shower, I hit the couch and found a movie (Black Sheep) to "watch" while I dozed. Next thing I know, it's about 90 minutes later and I was rested. Just like that. The bride later commented that she was surprised I could sleep with all the little girls going up and down our steps. How little, petite 10-year-old girls can make that much noise climbing steps, I'll never know.....

So now naps are good. Things do change. However, not everything changes. For example, my taste for certain foods. In other words, I didn't like fried okra or turnip greens when I was little, and I don't plan on liking them anytime soon.....

advice to an old friend.....

Dear Tom,

Hey, buddy! Man, it's been so long since we've been able to get together! I know we've both been busy with work and families. Looks like things are going well for you with your new movie. Oh, and kudos to you on your new relationship! Katie is one of Meg's favorite actresses. She loved her on "Dawson's Creek"!

Actually, the reason I'm writing is concerning Katie and your relationship with her. I'd like to give you a little advice. Before you get upset, just think back to times when you have solicited advice from me in the past. Remember when you were doing that movie about stealing your dad's Porsche, and you called me with advice about a dance scene? Remember I told you that you should dance to a Bob Seger song in your boxers, a white dress shirt and Ray Bans? And remember when you were doing that airplane movie and you didn't like the line "We need to go past fast"? Who told you to use "I feel the need.....the need for speed!"? OK, now, you can trust me on this.

There will be times in your marriage when things aren't going too well for your wife. There may even be times when Katie is physically ill. Or, if you plan to have kids, there may be times right after she has the baby that she is a little moody. If any of this occurs do not - I REPEAT, DO NOT - simply tell her to take a vitamin and jog around the block. I realize you've got this whole Matt Lauer interview thing to defend, but you've got to use some common sense when it comes to dealing with your wife. Do you honestly think that I'd still be alive today if I had told my lovely bride to do 30 sit-ups and take kick-boxing lessons while she was experiencing post-partum depression? (By the way, she says hello!) I know advice is cheap, but this advice is valuable because it's something you can actually use.

Next time you're in Franklin give me a call and we'll meet at Starbucks downtown. Hope to hear from you soon!

Your friend,

Wade

tomorrow, tomorrow.....

Research shows that the most popular day of the week to start dieting and exercising is.....tomorrow! So I decided to start tomorrow - yesterday. We'll see how this goes.....

Meg at 3 months. She has much more hair now..... 

Meg digging into her cake at her first birthday party. 

Meg and Mamaw, probably 1992 or 1993.