Friday, February 29, 2008

the man gets us every four years.....

Did you realize that if you're a salaried employee, you're working for free today?

Guess that's why they call it Leap Year. Your pay for February 29th leaps right past you.....

Thursday, February 28, 2008

one of those days.....

Still not over the Vandy loss. Yeah, in the scheme of things, it's no big deal. But it's still a loss to Vahn-da-bilt. A friend of mine who's a Kentucky fan came by my office yesterday and said, "I know exactly how you feel." Still feel like I think Bruce Pearl feels in the picture to the left. (By the way, isn't that the most beautiful jacket you've ever seen?)

Yesterday was one of those really exhausting days. And the exhaustion was caused while sitting behind my desk for most of the day. Strange how that happens.

We've been doing some reorganizing at work and moving bodies around the office. We've got a project coming up that will require moving a bunch of stuff from one storage area to another. So to relieve a little bit of the stress, I stayed a couple of hours late yesterday and moved boxes. I was even more tired, but less stressed.

Time to start the day. Here's hoping for a good one.....

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

oh, well.....

Here's the thing - I hate losing to Vanderbilt, regardless of the sport.  I will admit that they deserved to win because they played smarter basketball.  But I still hate losing to Vanderbilt.

And I hate the way Memorial Gym is laid out.  There may be other gyms configured like that, but I've never seen any others.  It really gives the home team a huge advantage.  

The game just ended and I'm too wound up to go straight to bed.  Thought we had a chance towards the end of the game, but it didn't happen.  I thought early on that the game was called way too tight, leaning a bit towards Vandy, but it's just normal that you get more calls at home.  And we came out way too flat.

Foster played a great game, but so did Lofton.  I'm not sure why Jujuan Smith didn't get more involved in tonight's offense.

Time for the Big Orange to get back to Knoxville and rest up for Kentucky.....

guess we all have different priorities.....

First Coast News - 2/4/08

Tina Williams was arrested in St. Augustine, Fla., on Super Bowl Sunday, charged with DUI and failure to have her 1-year-old daughter seat-belted or in a car seat. However, a case of Busch beer was safely buckled up in the front seat.

Monday, February 25, 2008

#1 is nice.....

I've never seen a men's college basketball poll that had the University of Tennessee sitting at the top. But I'll have that pleasure a little later on today when the new AP and ESPN/USA Today polls come out.

I did my part for the win - orange boxers, Tennessee shirt, and I only washed my hands with orange soap during the day. With the Vols down late in the game, I realized my shirt was untucked. As I stood us and unbuttoned my jeans to tuck my shirt back in, the bride said, "What in the world are you doing?????" My reply was simple, "Just helpin' my team win, babe. Once this shirt gets tucked back in, we'll start winning again." And we did. Oh, and the players did their part, too.

Saturday night's game lived up to all the hype. The bride was very proud of me because I behaved myself. I didn't throw anything. I didn't scream. I didn't even do any pacing. And she made it all the way through the game in the same room as me.

Not much time to celebrate, though. The Big Orange comes to Nashville tomorrow night to play Vanderbilt. And they'll be gunning for Tennessee, trying to knock off the #1 team in the land. Can't wait to see the game.....

Friday, February 22, 2008

to those who lack resolve, i salute you.....

Around the first of the year, the Franklin YMCA was packed. The bride and I had a hard time getting a treadmill, regardless of what time we went. After a few days, I started getting frustrated. But I remember telling the bride that it would start to thin out in about six weeks. And for one of the few times in my life, I was right.

We noticed the parking lot wasn't as full Wednesday afternoon. We went in and both got a treadmill. Same thing yesterday when I went. It's been just a little over six weeks since January 1.

(Before I go any further, let me say that I'm not a fitness fanatic. I have just found that my pants fit better if I run around 3 miles a day about 4 days each week.)

YMCAs and health clubs all over the country depend upon Americans to make New Years resolutions to lose weight every year. And every year they do. When they do, they decide to join that health club or their local YMCA. The bad thing is that most of us don't keep our resolutions.

And I may be one of those people again this year. I hope not, but it could happen. But until then, I'll just enjoy the open treadmills the others used to occupy.....

Thursday, February 21, 2008

one tiger down, next one saturday night....

There hasn't been this much hype for a basketball game in the state of Tennessee in decades. #1 Memphis hosts #2 Tennessee Saturday night in the Pyramid. If you want to go bad enough, tickets can be had on ebay for around $1,000.
Does UT stand a chance? Absolutely! If the refs call it close, I like UT's chances at the line against Memphis. And if Lofton and Jajuan Smith are both hot, watch out.

I've already told the bride I'll be camped out in front of the plasma Saturday night.....

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

earl hickey probably knows this guy.....

News-Tribune - Rebecca Dudley, Editor/Publisher

My ex-husband had this annoying habit of bringing greasy old carburetors and things into the house to work on. So, last week, when my friend called to tell me this story, my first response was, "Where did this guy live?"

Now reassured that I was never related to him by marriage, this really is too hilarious not to share.

The way my friend told it, this guy pushed his motorcycle from the patio into his living room, where he began to clean the engine with some rags and a bowl of gasoline. When he finished, he sat on the motorcycle and decided to start it to make sure everything was still OK. Unfortunately, the bike started in gear, and crashed through the glass patio door with him still clinging to the handlebars.

His wife had been working in the kitchen. She came running at the noise, and found him crumpled on the patio, badly cut from the shards of broken glass. She called 911, and the paramedics transported the guy to the emergency room.

So far, the story is humorous -- in a "that is what you get for being a big enough lout to bring your motorcycle into the house" kind of way. But here is where I really split a gut.

Later that afternoon, after many stitches had pulled her husband back together, the wife brought him home and put him to bed. She cleaned up the mess in the living room, and dumped the bowl of gasoline in the toilet.

Shortly thereafter, her husband woke up, lit a cigarette, and went into the bathroom. He sat down and tossed the cigarette into the toilet, which promptly exploded because the wife had not flushed the gasoline away. The explosion blew the man through the bathroom door.

The wife heard the explosion and her husband's screams. She ran into the hall and found him lying on the floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks. The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance.

The same two paramedics were dispatched to the scene. They loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. One of them asked the wife how the injury had occurred. When she told them, they began laughing so hard that they dropped the stretcher, and broke the guy's collarbone.

Talk about instant karma.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

can't believe apple didn't think of this.....

Los Angeles Times - 1/7/08

In January, Taser International introduced the Taser MPH, a combination dart-firing weapon and MP3 music player that holds 150 songs.

Monday, February 18, 2008

adiós, viejo amigo.....

I put my car on craigslist late Saturday afternoon and sold it less than 24 hours later. Simple as that.

I've spent almost 9 years with my old friend. She started when she was supposed to, got me where I needed to go, and she was alot of fun to drive. In return for her reliability, she was bathed and cleaned on a regular basis and had all the necessary servicing performed.

Meg wanted to make sure I got the UT license plate off the front, so I did that as it was getting dark yesterday. I think that plate may end up in a frame on the wall in the bonus room.

Here's hoping my next car gives me 9 good years.....

Friday, February 15, 2008

teenage moment.....

I ran by church Wednesday night to hear Meg sing during Fusion. I took the back road as I usually do. It winds left, then right, and back again to the left before it straightens for the last couple of hundred yards. It's alot of fun to drive when no one else is on the road or in the car with me.

As I got on the road, I noticed a truck pull up beside of me. It would surge forward then ease off the gas and pull even with me. I saw a hand fly out the window. I realized it was a couple of Meg's friends taunting me and wanting to race. In a matter of a few seconds, I was a senior in high school again. I floored it and I caught up with them.

All of a sudden, a voice in the back of my head said, "Hey, wait a minute. Aren't you 43? What if you wreck? What if you cause those boys to wreck? You need to act like a grown-up." So I immediately let off the gas and let them pass on by. I could hear them screaming/celebrating as they pumped their fists out the windows.

Stupid voice.....

Thursday, February 14, 2008

yeah, these guys really deserve a bailout.....

New York Times - 1/8/08

As the home-mortgage industry continued to reel in January from the Countrywide Financial Corp. debacle, a federal bankruptcy judge learned that the company, in at least one case (with others suspected), had not only backdated crucial documents but fabricated them altogether and then told the judge the company was merely trying to be "efficient." A court had approved the recasting of a client's debt to Countrywide in March 2007, closing the case, but the next month, Countrywide "discovered" a way to get extra money and thus created three letters supposedly sent to that client before March 2007. However, Countrywide later acknowledged that the letters were actually written after March 2007 but that making up documents was merely "an efficient way to convey" information.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

looks like another no snow winter.....

I listen to 91.3 The Summit during the day at work. They're a public radio station out of Akron, Ohio, so there are no commercials. About the only thing that interrupts the music is the voice of a DJ giving a weather report.

Akron's been getting alot of snow lately. I heard all day yesterday that they were under a snow advisory, with possible accumulations of 6-10". When they talk about that kind of snow, they're pretty calm about it. No big deal. Any amount of snow in Middle Tennessee makes the television stations go nuts and it's all they talk about. World crisis? Forget about that, we might have an inch of snow tonight! People head home and huddle in front of their televisions to watch the forecast, like they're afraid the world is coming to an end. (Well, they go to Krogers first to buy milk and toilet paper. Then they go home.)

I miss the kind of snow that I grew up seeing in Kingsport. The kind of snow that would shut a school system down for almost a month. The kind of thick, heavy snow with big, huge flakes that you can watch fall gracefully from the sky. I miss sled-riding, road-closing, snowman-making snow.
There's still a little bit of cold weather time left. Hope we get some of the white stuff before it's over.....

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

living with women.....

For those of you who don't live with at least two women in your house, allow me to do a little bit of translating for you.
When you hear a female, typically a mother, yell upstairs to another female, typically a daughter, the phrase, "be careful taking off your clothes", it may not mean what you think it means. For example, if a male said that to another male, the first guy would mean, "Dude, don't hurt yourself while you're getting undressed." Guys are literal. It's just how we're wired.
But when translated for feminine use, "be careful taking off your clothes" actually means "you just bought that shirt from Hollister, it's too small and you have to take it back and return it for another size, so don't get anything on it or stretch it or wad it up and put it under your bed so we can't find it when we go back to the mall."

If I'm able to help just one person with this post, it will have been worth it for me.....

Monday, February 11, 2008

probably won't be too pretty in pink.....

Last season, Bruce Pearl showed up shirtless and in body paint to help cheep the Lady Vols on against rival Duke. The next month, Pat Summitt showed up during a commercial break in a cheerleader outfit to return the favor as the men's team played and beat Florida.

Coach Pearl was interviewed on the Jim Rome show last Thursday. Jim asked him what he was going to do Monday night as the Lady Vols take on Rutgers. Bruce said that "the Incredible Bulk" won't be showing up again. Rome loved it. Coach did say that he would, however, be in pink in honor of breast cancer awareness. How much pink, he's not sure yet. But he will definitely be in pink.

The first image that came to mind was Ralphie's pink bunny suit from "A Christmas Story". Tune in to ESPN2 tonight at 6:00 CST to see.....

Friday, February 08, 2008

there's trust, and then there's stupidity.....

Journal News, White Plains, NY - 1/3/08

Satellite-navigation is undoubtedly a boon to drivers, but reports are accumulating of incidents in which drivers turned over too much discretion to the technology. For example, in January in Bedford Hills, N.Y., a visiting Silicon Valley computer technician absentmindedly obeyed his car's global positioning system and wound up, stalled, on railroad tracks, where a passing Metro-North train smashed into it (after the man had exited).

Thursday, February 07, 2008

my favorite new joke.....

The pharmacist arrives at work to find a frightened-looking man leaning against the wall.

"What's wrong with him?" the pharmacist asks his clerk.

"He wanted cough medicine, but I couldn't find any, so I gave him a laxative."

"Laxatives won't cure a cough, " yells the owner.

"Sure they will. Look at him. He's afraid to cough."

Reader's Digest - February 2008

Wednesday, February 06, 2008


We knew there would be storms last night. We just didn't know how dangerous they'd turn out to be. Fortunately for our family, we only lost a few hours of sleep. Several in middle and west Tennessee lost homes, cars and even their lives.

I began watching the UT/Florida game at 8:00 last night. I almost stopped watching when the Gators went up 16-3 in the first four minutes. But I'm glad I didn't give up on the Vols. Big 104-82 win. While the winds blew hard and heavy west of Knoxville, the Gators had the wind taken right out of their sails in Thompson-Boling Arena.

The Vols were down 4 at the break. Then they kicked it into gear in the second half, scoring 60 points. Lofton, Tyler Smith and Jajuan Smith shot lights out. It's always good to win. But it's even better when you beat Florida.

The bride was glued to the television with all the weather warnings, so she camped out in front of the television downstairs. I stayed upstairs and went back and forth between the game and channel 2's weather coverage. For some reason, the bride doesn't like it when I switch back and forth between channels. Can't figure that one out.

My favorite line of the night came from Lisa Patton, News 2's weather anchor. She's showing this map with 89 different colors on it, telling us about wind speeds, tornadic activity and funnel clouds. Then she said something like, "If you're in Fairview, you need to take cover immediately." (slight pause) "And don't forget to send your storm-related pictures to" I'm sure she didn't mean it like it sounded.

Our prayers go out to all those dealing with the effects of the storms.....

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

oh be careful little feet where you go.....

News & Observer (Raleigh) - 1/10/08

Josue Herrios-Coronilla, 18, was arrested in Durham, N.C., in January and charged with DUI after he accidentally drove through a yard in a residential neighborhood. He then abandoned his car and hitched a ride, but at a later traffic stop, police identified him by his shoes, in that when he ran out of the yard, he had stepped in several piles of the resident's dogs' droppings.

Monday, February 04, 2008

soundtrack moment.....

I've heard people talk about what the soundtrack of their life would sound like if they had one. Mine would be filled with music from Billy Joel, Don Henley, Paul McCartney and Ray Charles, throw in a little Van Halen, John Hiatt and Taylor Hicks, and a dash of Van Morrison, Sinatra and David Gray.

I had a soundtrack moment last Friday while out at lunch. I went to Kroger's to stock up on some caffiene. As I pushed the cart to the self-checkout line, I passed by a very tall woman at one of the registers. "Wow," I thought, "That's one tall lady." While I scanned my four 12-packs. I overhead the lady saying something to herself. "Hmm," I pondered to myself, "She sure does have a deep voice." I glanced over towards this lady. She looked at me, smiled and said, "Hi!"

At that very moment, Aerosmith started playing in my head. "Dude Looks Like a Lady". She/he appeared to be a transvestite. A tranny. A tranny old enough to be a granny. So as Steven Tyler sang in my head, I stood there looking at a dude who looked like a lady, only the dude was a lady. Or maybe the lady was a dude.


Friday, February 01, 2008

glad it wasn't three mugshots.....

Ever look at the front page of your newspaper and see somebody you know? That happened to me this morning. These three guys are in my class at church. And I'm a little jealous that that I didn't get an invitation to join them. Here's the caption from the Tennessean:

With Williamson County schools closed because of the threat of winter weather, a group of innovative Centennial High School students created their own snow run for sledding on Thursday. They brought three and a half truckloads of snow shavings from Southern Ice Arena to Buckingham Park subdivision in Franklin. Taking advantage of the snowy slope are, bottom left, Taylor Bloss, 18; bottom right, Kyle McClain, 18; and top, Chad Lister, 17.