the ofit (old fart in training)

it's the end of this blog as i know it, and i feel fine.....

2009-10-30T06:41:00.001-05:00

I started writing here about 6 or 7 years ago. It was fun. It gave me an outlet for creativity. I work with numbers all day long, things that are absolute. So this was a nice diversion.

Over time, the fun went away. I guess it started a few months ago. Writing here became more of a task, a chore, a job. Something I had to do. The past few days it finally hit me that I don't have to do this if I don't want to. Why do something that's supposed to be fun when it's not fun any more?

So thanks for coming here to read about my life, my family, my oddities. I've made some friends on here that I didn't have before I started writing this blog, and that was a nice added bonus. I've made some people laugh, some people cry, and some people mad. That's pretty much how my life outside of the blog has always been, too.

If you're on Facebook, look me up. We'll keep in touch.....

so very close.....

2009-10-26T06:52:00.003-05:00

Maintenance crews at Bryant-Denny Stadium were seen spraying tanks full of diluted bleach on the bleachers and home sidelines Saturday evening. The #1 (or #2, depending upon which poll you look at) team in the country and their fans apparently peed in their pants Saturday afternoon.

Yes, Alabama won. And like Lane Kiffin, I refuse to count moral victories as wins. That's what Vanderbilt fans do. (Yes, I said it.) But Tennessee came to Tuscaloosa as a 2-touchdown underdog. And for 59 minutes and 56 seconds, they kept up with Alabama. Their chance to win came down to a 44-yard kick off the foot of a kicker with a quad injury. But to their credit, Alabama made plays when they had to. And that's what good teams do.

I like where we're heading as a football team. We've played the #1 team in the country twice this year and scared them both. The wins will come in time.....

just put the phone up to scruffy's ear.....

2009-10-23T07:12:00.001-05:00

SF Weekly - 9/18/09

The San Francisco Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals operates an assistance-dog program under a $500,000 grant and not only provides the trained dog but also yearly "refresher" sessions to keep the dog sharp. However, client Patricia Frieze told SF Weekly in September that the organization had asked her whether it could do the refresher course this year by telephone instead of a home visit by a trainer.

could be a mutiny in titan-town.....

2009-10-21T06:50:00.001-05:00

This was from a Titans fan who attended an event here in Nashville yesterday. Jeff Fisher was introducing the speaker, Tony Dungy, and according to this Tweeter, here's what happened:

Jeff Fisher just took off his jacket and he had on a Colts jersey and said, "I just wanted to feel like a winner!"

And here's the picture:

Wow. Part of me thinks this is funny. Another part of me thinks Coach Fisher might get a call from ol' Bud Adams.....

words of wisdom to inspire you.....

2009-10-14T06:36:00.000-05:00

The greatest revenge is to accomplish what others say you cannot do. That and gluing someone's hands to their face while they sleep, covering the kitchen floor with butter, setting off the fire alarm and watching them fall trying to escape the house.

Leroy Smith

tommy boy moment.....

2009-10-13T06:45:00.001-05:00

Remember the scene in Tommy Boy where Chris Farley and David Spade were in the car listening to the radio? They were singing along with the songs. Then The Carpenters' "Superstar" came on. They both looked at each other, called the song lame. The next scene you see, they're singing along and crying during the chorus.

I went for a run Saturday morning. It was cool, 52 degrees. The rain had stopped, but it was damp. I stepped out the door in shorts and a long sleeve Under Armour shirt and immediately thought about going back in for a jacket, but figured I'd be OK after I started running.

I had my iPod set to shuffle all 900+ songs. Songs played by Cage the Elephant, The Doobies, The Eagles, Elvis Costello, James Morrison, Al Wilson and others. Most of the songs I listened to all the way through, but some I skipped over. As I started the last mile, it came on - Barry Manilow's Could It Be Magic. Every now and then, when I'm shuffling the whole catalog, a song will come on that I don't really want to hear at the moment, so I'll press the forward button to the next song. But I couldn't do it this time. From song's opening of the piano solo, I was under some king of spell, unable to lift my arm to go to the next song.

But I didn't cry like Farley and Spade. No, seriously, I didn't.....

good saturday.....

2009-10-12T06:45:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure who that was wearing the #8 jersey on Saturday. He looked like Jonathan Crompton, but he sure as heck didn't play like JC. If not for special teams, it would have been an almost-perfect game.

I don't like Georgia. I don't know why, I just don't. Beating Georgia the way they did was just great.

Meg's big sister came over for dinner Saturday night. The bride had made all the fixins for hot fudge cake. I couldn't wait. I stayed away from sweets all day long just so I could eat a big ol' piece with a glass of cold milk.

Sara was the first to finish her chili. She asked when we could eat the hot fudge cake. The bride went over to the stove and turned on the eye for the hot fudge sauce. Or at least she thought that's what she was turning on. Funny thing about stoves - if you turn on the wrong eye, the thing you think you're heating up doesn't get hot. Sara was anxious to eat, so she kept checking the sauce. All of a sudden, we heard a crack that sounded like a gun had gone off. Glass went everywhere. The cake pan, made of glass, was sitting on a now very hot stove eye. It scared Sara too death. Not only the sound, but also the thought that we wouldn't be having hot fudge cake for dessert.

So Meg, Sara and Whitney headed to Publix and bought the stuff to make more. I'm happy to say it was delicious.

It was a good Saturday.....

yard sale faux pas.....

2009-10-09T07:23:00.000-05:00

WBAL-TV (Baltimore) - 8/11/09

David Perticone, 46, was arrested in Severn, Md., in August and charged with stealing about $25,000 worth of items from a woman's house just down the block. The woman discovered the items in Perticone's front yard, part of a yard sale he was conducting.

inexplicable side effects of brain injury.....

2009-10-07T06:36:00.005-05:00

BBC News - 9/2/09

Malcolm Darby, 70, awoke from surgery following a stroke in Oakham, England, last year to find that he had near-perfect vision (after having worn eyeglasses since age 2) but later discovered that he no longer spoke or understood French.

the attempt to recapture ignorance.....

2009-10-06T07:27:00.007-05:00

I'm reading the book Second Hand by Michael Zadoorian. It's about a guy who's a "junker", someone who runs a second hand store and is constantly on the lookout for things to buy so he can clean them up and sell them to someone else.

There's a part in the book where a man comes in and buys an old, non-working radio. He says his parents had one just like it when he was a kid and that he hadn't seen one like it in decades. Richard, the owner of the store, thinks about this as the man leaves the store with his new purchase:

This is a strange thing about people. We own something as children, then as adults we are willing to buy it again for about a hundred times the original cost. We think we’re buying back our youth or our innocence or something like that, but what we’re really buying back is our ignorance. We want to remember a time when we didn’t know so much.

I read this and it hit me that I've been guilty of this very thing. I saw an old "Billy Blastoff" toy on eBay a year or so ago. In mint condition, the cost was about $300. I knew I couldn't afford it, and wouldn't buy it even if I could, but the memories it brought back were incredible. I was 5 years old when I got "Billy" for Christmas. You can't get much more ignorant than 5 years old.

I thought about the author's words on the way into work this morning. It struck me that Facebook is allowing people to recapture their ignorance with its service. We reconnect with people we haven't seen in decades, back to a time when our lives were less complicated, more innocent, more ignorant to what was to come later in life; back to a time when we didn't know nearly as much as we thought we did.

I can see the new marketing campaign now - "Facebook - ignorance realized". Yeah, maybe not.....

tough times for football fans in tennessee.....

2009-10-05T06:41:00.001-05:00

Anyone who thought the Vols would go 8-4 or 9-3 when the season started has had that fantasy shattered by reality. While Hardesty is leading the SEC in rushing, he appears to be all we've got on offense. I'm not going to pile onto Crompton - we knew what he was going in to the season, and he is who he is. The defense looked lost at times Saturday night against Auburn. Maybe it was because they were on the field so much. It's going to be a long season for Vol fans.

Speaking of long seasons, the Titans took the field against Jacksonville Sunday afternoon. You may have noticed that I didn't say they played. The bride and I left before halftime and went to the library. You know I'm not thrilled when the library wins out over a football game. The thing is, I'm trying to figure out how they got so bad so fast. The defense can't stop anyone. The offense has Chris Johnson and that's about it. We need a quarterback. I'm predicting that Mr. Young gets the start next week.

I'm a fan. I'll stay true to my teams. But the growing pains won't be any fun.....

not quite sure about this.....

2009-09-30T06:53:00.006-05:00

I heard about a new Christmas album this morning on the way into work. Now, you know me - I love Christmas and anything having to do with Christmas. But the announcement of this album left me scratching my head. Here's part of the release from the band's web site:

Not So Silent Night Christmas Album

REO SPEEDWAGON PUTS THEIR OWN UNIQUE SOUND TO CHRISTMAS CLASSICS WITH NOT SO SILENT NIGHT CHRISTMAS ALBUM DUE OUT OCTOBER 27th

Rock superstars REO Speedwagon will be releasing a new Christmas album, Not So Silent Night...Christmas With REO Speedwagon, on October 27th on Sony Legacy Recordings, produced by Joe Vannelli, along with associate producer and lead singer Kevin Cronin. The album will feature 13 Christmas classics with a unique REO Speedwagon musical twist.

"We are really excited to bring something brand new for our fans to enjoy with their families, just in time for the holidays," said Cronin. "We are as proud and passionate about this project as we have been about any album we have ever made. We hope that this music is as much fun for our fans to listen to as it has been for us to create. The holiday spirit is alive in the REO family, and we wish the same for yours."

I like REO Speedwagon's music. The songs"Can't Fight This Feeling", "Keep On Loving You", "Roll With The Changes", "Ridin' The Storm Out", "Take It On The Run", and "Time For Me To Fly" are all part of the soundtrack of my youth. But a Christmas album? Somehow it just doesn't fit.

I reminds me of something Jeff and I used to do when we were growing up. We had a few people from our church choir who would do solos from time to time. They were good, but they had "church solo" voices and that was about it. We would imitate certain church soloists as they would sound singing contemporary music. The two just didn't go together. The thought of a certain male soloist doing Rod Stewart's "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" or Clapton's "Lay Down Sally" still makes me laugh.

Maybe REO's Christmas album will be a big hit. Maybe it will sound great. But for some reason I just can't wrap my head around it. Oh, well, 86 days until Christmas either way.....

yeah, that couldn't have been them.....

2009-09-29T06:52:00.002-05:00

Canadian Broadcasting Corporation News - 8/12/09

Police in Deer Lake, Newfoundland, decided in August not to press charges against three boys whom they had previously believed had harassed a young moose so badly that it had to be put down. A final piece of evidence against prosecution came from the father of one of the boys, who vouched that the three could not have committed such a crime since they had been busy at the time, vandalizing a nearby church.

i've done all i can do.....

2009-09-28T07:54:00.003-05:00

My fantasy league football team is so bad this year, I'm thinking of renaming them "2008 Detroit Lions." I'm seriously doubting I'll get a win all year long. But I did something this weekend that I thought would help the Titans. I started Mark Sanchez as my quarterback. No rookie has ever started the season 3-0, so I thought he'd have a terrible game against the Titans. Hey, if I can't win with my fantasy team I might as well help the Titans get their first win of the season. Didn't work. The Jets beat the Titans, and the Titans are now 0-3. Playoffs???? Playoffs???? I guess it could be worse. The Titans are just a quarterback, 3 wide receivers, an offensive line and a defense away from a championship this year. Maybe next year. Or the year after. Or sometime after that.

The Vols won, but it wasn't pretty. Yes, we scored 34 points, but it's obvious to everyone that we're short on talent at quarterback. I read that Jonathan Crompton's father was escorted out of the stadium Saturday night because he took issue with a lady (and the lady's husband) who was booing his son. Someone posted on Tennessee's Scout.com site that Crompton's dad probably took a swing at the guy but missed completely and hit somebody three rows up. It's either laugh or cry this year, so I'm going to try to laugh when I can. Besides, anyone who thought we'd compete for an SEC championship this year is sadly mistaken. It's going to be a few years to get to that point. The depth of talent just isn't there yet.

After what seemed like 4 straight months of rain, we had a beautiful day on Sunday. And it's supposed to be like that all week here. I'm ready for fall.....

serious about the weather.....

2009-09-24T06:43:00.002-05:00

Daily Breeze (Torrance, CA) - 9/2/09

Geography professor Melanie Patton Renfrew, 54, was convicted in Burbank, California, in August of violating a judge's order to stop stalking KNBC-TV weatherman Fritz Coleman. Renfrew had badgered Coleman for two years, via e-mail and telephone calls, about his "error" in terminology, confusing "onshore" winds with "offshore" winds. Coleman, she insisted, needed to apologize. "Offshore" winds blow out to sea; "onshore" winds blow in.

common sense 101.....

2009-09-22T07:30:00.001-05:00

San Antonio Express-News - 8/28/09

San Antonio police chief William McManus announced in August an upgraded training program to teach his officers how to obey the law while off-duty. The department has had to fire 10 officers so far this year for law-breaking, and included in McManus' program is a personal talk to each incoming cadet to stress that police officers must not commit crimes.

vols and titans....and wild women at my house.....

2009-09-21T07:01:00.004-05:00

So Saturday's UT-Florida game went better than expected. It was still a loss, but at least it wasn't a 30-point loss. From the sound of things, the Vols gained some respect with their play. According to something I heard yesterday, Florida fans were acting like they'd lost because it was only a 10-point win.

Then on Sunday, the Titans showed what happens when your secondary has huge holes. 31 points should be enough to beat any NFL team; well, except for the Saints. Like a friend of mine said yesterday, one wonders if the Titans might miss defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz more than they miss Albert Haynesworth.

Now for the wild women at my house. Bunco is back and the bride is hosting it tonight. Here's hoping I don't have to break up a fight.....

things i won't do.....

2009-09-18T06:39:00.001-05:00

Watch the movie "The Notebook" - Yes, I've heard from several men that it's a good movie, but now it's a matter of principle with me. I've said "no" so many times that I just can't give in now.

Eat broccoli, cooked cabbage or turnip greens - I refuse to eat something that smells like something I get in trouble for doing after a meal. 'Nuff said.

Twitter - No one needs to know what I'm doing 24 hours a day. I don't even need to know what I'm doing 24 hours a day.

EVER own another dog - I've told the bride that we'll never own another dog. She said she wants a lap dog one day. I told her it was either me or the dog. She hasn't made up her mind yet.

Park in a fire zone, handicapped or employee-of-the-month parking - There are rules in place for a reason. Just ask my mother-in-law.....

can you hear me now.....

2009-09-17T06:56:00.001-05:00

Times-Reporter - 5/21/09

With no help from Verizon Wireless, law enforcement agencies managed to hunt down a disturbed, 62-year-old man sought in an 11-hour manhunt following a domestic violence call in Carrollton, Ohio, in May. Deputies had wanted to use the man's cell phone signal to locate him, but the company had shut off his service over an unpaid $20 bill and refused to turn it on, even for a few minutes, unless deputies paid the $20. The sheriff was reluctantly about to pay when deputies found the man.

another first.....

2009-09-13T17:28:00.003-05:00

I had a thought Saturday night that I don't believe I've ever had before in my life. I sat in my recliner watching the USC-Ohio State game and thought, "You know, I really enjoyed a Broadway play more than I enjoyed a football game today."

The bride and I saw "Wicked" Saturday afternoon. I wasn't all that happy about missing the UT game, but that changed soon after the curtain went up. "Wicked" was brilliant. The two leads were incredible, and the story was great. I thoroughly enjoyed the play.

We got home in time to see the 4th quarter of the game. Jonathan Crompton may be the greatest guy in the world, but he's no college quarterback. We've got a big problem at that position. It worries me to think that he's the best option we've got at quarterback.

Maybe Elphaba could cast a spell on Crompton and turn him into a quarterback.....

best line of the morning.....

2009-09-11T08:18:00.003-05:00

A listener emailed this to 104.5 The Zone this morning about the Titans' 4th quarter defense:

Deal Chuck Cecil,

John Chavis just called, he wants his defense back.

wanted: size 9 1/2 tap shoes.....

2009-09-10T07:10:00.001-05:00

I used to really like to play golf. I got excited every time I got a chance to play. And I used to be pretty good at it. Not great by any stretch of the imagination, but pretty good. Not any more. I don't play much, so it's hard to get into any kind of rhythm when I play. But when I do play, I vaguely remember being decent. I guess that's why it's so frustrating.

After 27 holes on Wednesday, I considered putting an ad on craigslist for my clubs. Maybe somebody else could get some good shots out of them. Heaven knows I sure haven't lately.

Every time I play like I did today, I ask myself why I want to do something that gives me so little pleasure. Why in the world would someone do something that makes them feel so inadequate? Why heap that kind of mental punishment on yourself?

Maybe I'll take up tap dancing.....

the influential power of the ofit.....

2009-09-04T06:43:00.002-05:00

I received the following message from my sister yesterday:

I thought you'd be proud of this..... I took Lizzie to preschool this morning and she had taken a little doll of hers that was wearing no clothes. Her teacher asked her what the doll's name was and Liz replied, "Nakey Butt". I blamed it all on you!

If memory serves, I believe I did in fact name that doll "Naked Butt" about a year ago. It feels good to pass something along to the next generation. I guess I'll add "philanthropist" to my resume.....

ringtones and whispers.....

2009-09-03T06:35:00.002-05:00

I was in a meeting yesterday morning. A meeting attended by professionals, or so it would seem. A regional director from a government agency was speaking.

The sound was muffled at first, so I didn't know if I actually heard something or if the rustling of the hair in my ears was creating a noise. Then it got louder. And louder. I finally heard it as plain as day - Calypso music. Someone's phone was going off. Please. Even if you forget to put your phone on vibrate during a meeting, at least have a generic ringtone.

I went from there to a funeral. Even in my advanced years, I was one of the youngest in attendance by at least 25-30 years. 40 years in some instances. I don't mind being around older people. They can be funny. Sometimes they mean to be funny, other times they just are. Such was the case with the man directly in front of me.

The gentleman hadn't made a peep the whole service. He leaned over towards his wife to whisper something to her. She leaned in. He said, "THIS PEW FEELS LIKE A KNIFE IN MY BACK!" I know he meant to whisper. It's just that as one gets older, their whispers tend to increase in volume dramatically.

Not many people smiled when this happened. Either they agreed with him or they couldn't hear what he said. I'm going with the latter.....

it's beginning to look a lot like.....

2009-09-01T06:38:00.001-05:00

Costco, West Nashville, August 31, 2009.....