dude, i'll trade you bill dance for roland martin.....

This post is for my lovely bride and anyone else who thinks that fantasy football is silly.....

Not only has professional fishing grown so spectacularly that last year's leading money winner earned $547,000, but popular "fantasy fishing" leagues, resembling fantasy baseball and football, employ elaborate statistical breakdowns of fishing tournaments to help players pick winners, according to a July Wall Street Journal report. "Average weight per fish (caught) over careers," "margin of victory (in pounds)," and other data points are plotted by players, along with weather reports, depth and temperature of tournament lakes, and intangibles such as "home-lake curse." The organization FLW Outdoors estimates 40,000 fantasy players, many of whom have never actually fished.

too close for me.....

George Allen, former coach for the Washington Redskins, was famous for saying that he never lost a game, he just ran out of time. Luckily for the Vols, Air Force ran out of time Saturday night at Shields-Watkins Field.

The game wasn't on free-TV, so I listened to it on the radio while watching the Ohio State/Texas game. I was OK until the last 5 or 6 minutes of the game. Then the panic set in, along with a little yelling. OK, a little yelling may be understating things just a bit. If not for Xavier Mitchell's big tackle on Air Force's 2-point conversion, the Vols could have been 1-1. When Ainge took his final run backwards, which allowed the clock to run out, I was pretty worked up. So worked up, in fact, that I had to go on a run to settle down afterwards. I haven't had a chance to see the game yet, so I don't know if the defense looked as bad as it sounded. Or if Air Force's offense looked as good as it sounded. The replay is tonight at 6:00 on Comcast Sports South. I may just watch the Phillip Fulmer show instead. Don't know if I can relive the whole game or not.

Not only was the game a nail-biter for the fans, but now Fulmer will be doing a little nail-biting of his own for the rest of the season. Justin Harrell and Inky Johnson are both out for the season. Not alot of depth in the secondary, so the Johnson injury hurts the most. I wish both young men a swift recovery.

On a completely separate note, 5 years ago today I was getting ready to leave for a meeting out of town. The same meeting I'm attending this week. About 45 minutes into the trip, I got a call from Mom. Dad was going to the same meeting, and Mom had received a call from his office that the conference had been cancelled. Seems that alot of things got cancelled that day, that week. The conference would be rescheduled. Unfortunately the innocent people who lost their lives that day couldn't reschedule things. I still can't watch footage from 9/11 without having all sorts of anger well up inside me. Don't know that I'll ever be able to.....

sir, step out of the c.....um, that's ok, stay in the car.....

While driving around at lunch yesterday I listened to The Herd with Colin Cowherd on ESPN radio. Colin asked for his listeners to e-mail him with a description of their favorite NFL team in only four words. My feeble attempt at this for the Titans, injected with a bit of humor, was this:

"Not in-Vince-able, too Young".

See? I got Vince Young in there! Clever, huh?

There were several others, but the best was this one for the Detroit Lions:

Segrams 7, Lions 0.

Why is this funny? Go here for the full story.

Frankly, I think the press is being too hard on this coach. Heck, I've heard my brother-in-law, Dale, say the Lions' assistant coach is the kind of guy who would give you the shirt off his back.....

hard to tell sometimes.....

Maybe it's just this way around our house. Maybe this doesn't happen anywhere else in the universe. Maybe it's this way because I'm outnumbered 3 to 1 gender-wise.

Sometimes it's hard to tell, say, at about 5:45 AM, whether or not an intruder has broken into our house and is torturing someone OR if there's simply a spider in someone's room.....

Distance is 9243 kilometers or 5744 miles or 4991 nautical miles.....

This was the headline on the page that generated when I checked the distance from Nashville to Istanbul, Turkey. No, the OFIT isn't thinking about moving. But I have a friend who moved there recently.
About a month ago, I got an e-mail from my friend Annette. She said she was moving to Istanbul to be a high school math teacher in a private school. A couple of years ago (might have been longer, I'm not sure), Annette's son and his family moved there to do some work. So this wasn't a random move. Of course, over time most of us figure out that nothing in life is really random at all.

I received an e-mail update from Annette earlier this week. She seems to be settling down and into a routine. She's enjoyed her in-service schedule and meeting with the other teachers. Classes start this week, and as she says, nothing can spoil school more than kids. She said that was a common saying among teachers with 20+ years of experience. I was amused by the fact that a small jar of Skippy peanut butter costs almost $7 there in a local store; I think we bought a 6-pound "vat" of Peter Pan at Sam's a couple of weeks ago for less than that. (Uh, we like peanut butter at our house.)

To me, the amazing thing about this whole story is the fact that Annette came out of retirement for this new tour of duty. She's been retired from the Metro Nashville school system for (Annette, if I get this number wrong, please forgive me) about 20 years now. And she knows she's where she's supposed to be.

Note to Annette's students - she may try to act mean, but she's really a softie; don't let the red hair fool you.....

yes, tennessee, there is a santa claus.....

.....and his name is David Cutcliffe.

What a difference a year and an offensive coordinator makes! Even the bride commented about how well the play calling was mixed with run and pass plays. Erik Ainge seemed to be the quarterback every Vol fan hoped he'd be. The receivers actually ran their routes, blocked effectively and caught passes. Robert Meachem was phenomenal despite being sick and having to throw up between offensive series. The line blocked. And the running backs ran hard.

But as good as the offense was, it was really the defense that won the game. Sure, Cal scored 18 points in the second half, but they did it against our second-and third-teamers. The defensive line looked very good. The secondary provided tight coverage all game long. The linebackers were unbelievable, flying all over the field and making plays. In fact, wherever the ball went, there was a group of orange shirts.

The 12th man was effective in Saturday night's game as well. Over 106,000 were on hand to provide more noise than the Cal football team has ever known. That sea of orange on my television screen looked so good.

On my way in from the parking lot this morning, a friend of mine who's a Georgia fan said, "Yeah, I hope your Vols get really cocky right before the Georgia game." I think that could have happened last year after a win like this one. But not this year. It's a different team, different coaching staff, different attitude.

One game down, 11 more to go. Well, 12 if you count the SEC Championship.....

i hope the fat man comes through for us this year.....

And I ain't talking about Phillip Fulmer.

Some of you may remember our Christmas card from last year:

The girls asked Santa to bring the Vols more wins in 2006. We actually sent a card to Coach Fulmer. He sent us back an autographed picture.

Cal comes into Neyland Stadium tomorrow at #9 in the country. This is the biggest early-season test the Vols have had in years. Coming off the team's worst season since 1988, this game is big. It's not really "make-or-break" territory, but it's pretty doggone close. The optimist in me says UT wins 23-17. I don't won't to talk about the pessimistic side of me.

I guess I'm hoping for an early Christmas present tomorrow.....

top 5 songs i'm almost embarrassed to say i like.....

E! Network started running a show this week called "101 Guiltiest Guilty Pleasures". I don't know what all of them are, but #101 was Patrick Swayze. If you're old enough to remember him as a sex symbol, you might be considered old now.

So I'm sitting here doing some writing for work, and from iTunes Classic Hits Radio comes a song that I haven't heard in probably 5 years or longer. It made my top 5 at #2. Here they are:

5. B.J. Thomas - Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song

I don't know what there is about this song, but once I hear it I just can't stop listening. For some reason, I've always like B.J. Thomas' singing voice.

4. The Carpenters - Rainy Days and Mondays

The second chorus says it all: Walkin' around, Some kind of lonely clown, Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down. (The Carpenters' "Top of the World" would have made this list 25 years ago.)

3. aha - Take on Me

For 1981, this video was the most creative of its time. I remember listening to it over and over at Myrtle Beach that summer.

2. Starbuck - Moonlight Feels Right

Blue Oyster Cult's record producer Bruce Dickinson's fever might have been cured only by a prescription of more cowbell, but where else besides halftime at a high school football game are you going to get a xylophone solo????? Pure genius!

1. Al Stewart - Year of the Cat

Maybe it's the piano, maybe it's the melody, I don't know. But I burned a 70's mix CD the other day and this song was the first one that came to mind.

What? You were expecting "You Light Up My Life"? Uh, no. You must have me confused with my lovely bride.....

a change is gonna' come.....

Ever do something that you're really proud of, then do something to completely negate it? The most painful part of it is trying to kick yourself in the butt for letting it happen.

About 4 years ago I lost almost 30 pounds in 4 months. I had gone to basketball practice with Meg and we ran drills with the girls that night. After about 4 half-court drills I was exhausted. I came home that night and saw that the waistband from my nylon warm-up pants had left an indentation around my waist. That night I decided to start working on my weight loss. At 9:30, I went out in the dark of a cold early-January night and started running. I made it about 2 blocks before I had to stop because it felt that my heart was going to leap out of my chest. But little by little I built up to a mile. Within about 6 months I could do a little over 3 miles without stopping.

Over the past 4 years I've let it all but 8 pounds return. How? Different factors - laziness, poor eating habits, and age. It's amazing how much difference 4 year makes. I told a friend of mine about this the other day and she said, "Don't talk about 4 years ago! There's a whole lot more I could do 4 years ago that I can't do now."

So this weekend I decided to "sow my wild oats" when it came to food. I didn't go overboard, but I ate stuff that I wanted to eat and enjoyed it. I topped it off Sunday evening with an ice cream sundae (after having had cake and ice cream earlier in the evening), knowing that I was going to go hard-core, cold turkey starting Monday morning. It's the same low-carb diet that helped me lose the 30 pounds before. And I've found that if I'm going to lose weight, I have to be strict about what I eat. I can do it if I make my mind up and discipline myself. It's just that I've told myself all summer that ice cream at night is OK; that chips and dip for lunch are OK; and that one more roll from Logan's won't hurt.

My pants are too tight around the waist. I've come close to emulating George Costanza, preferring shorts and pants with elastic bands to those that zip up. The only articles of clothing that fit right any more are my shoes.

I'm adopting the chorus from a Sam Cooke song as my mantra:

It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change is gonna come, oh yes it will.....

it's just a limp, don't worry about it.....

I've been told that I snore.

I don't do it all the time. Just when I'm sleeping deep. And just so I don't sleep too deeply, the bride has a way of "bringing me back" to keep me from snoring. She nudges me. At least that's what she calls it - nudging. I call it something different. (At least she hasn't bought one of these for me yet.)

Here's part of our conversation just after I turned the lights out last night.

The Bride - "Will you please not snore tonight?"

OFIT - "OK, will you please not kick the crap out of me tonight?"

The Bride - "I don't kick you! I just nudge you to get you to roll over so you'll stop snoring."

She, on the other hand, never snores. The only thing she does is when she has alergy problems (like last night) she treats me to sounds that can only be compared to when the angels sing on high. Some might say that it sounds alot like a cell phone on vibrate sitting on aluminum foil that's been covered with marbles. Not to me. Sweet, melodic strains of pure heavenly bliss. That's what it is to me.

I'm one lucky guy. I sure do hope the couch is comfortable tonight.....

huh? conflict of interest? fugidaboutit.....

New York Post, 7-10-06

While New York state grapples with a serious budget shortfall, the speaker of the state assembly works at a law firm that trolls for "victims" of injuries at state parks, with a suggestive Internet-page list of accidents that might lead to lawsuits against the state. (In August, after the New York Post exposed the page, the law firm withdrew it.)

remember, it's a work in process.....

I'm still working on my train layout. The bride and our daughters got me a nice N scale train set for Christmas, and I've been toiling away on the layout ever since. I've still got a long way to go on it, but it's been fun building the buildings and wiring for lights.

A couple of weeks ago I took a few pictures of what I've done so far and here they are:




This is a view from the southeast side of town, just beyond the tracks.









Overhead view of the town (oblong) circle.







View of the freight station and back side of town. The Monsters, Inc. poster really gives it an authentic look, huh?

View of the town from the northwest. You can see the trolley tracks in the foreground, and the town church at the head of the circle. Not sure of the church's denomination yet.

Overhead view of the entire layout. The passenger station depots and steps are missing from these pictures; not sure why because they were the first structures built. The pond/lake is dry for the moment, and the dock is missing even though it's been built for some time. There will be a school in front of the pond/lake. Just across the track from the pond will be a small neighborhood. The roads are still under construction. I need to build some kind of factory for the layout. Trees, shrubs and grass still need to be installed. I'm thinking about a hill/mountain somewhere in the town but I'm not sure where.

I haven't gotten to the point of wearing and engineer's cap and saying things like "all aboard!" and "choo-choo" when I run my trains. I guess that's something that might happen over time. Once this layout is finished, I want to start another one - hopefully a bigger one. Those words aren't exactly music to the bride's ears. But she's the one that got me started, so it's really her fault.....

is this going to be on the test?

The bride and I attended Freedom Intermediate's open house Monday night. About half-way through 4th period history class, she leaned over towards me and said "I'm so glad I don't have to go through school again."

The more I thought about her statement, the more confusing it became to me. My wife did very well in school. She graduated from college Cum Laude. I'm convinced that her GPA would have been much better had I not come into her life 15 months before graduation. I think I was a distraction. I'm not bragging, I'm just sayin'. Anyway, I always figured that people who did well in school pretty much liked school. Now let's take a look at the flip side.

I didn't like school at all. I did OK, but could have done better. I actually had two goals when I went into my freshman year of college - play lots of intramural sports and graduate in 4 years. I did both, just not much else. I did just enough to get by unless the subject interested me, then I cared about how I did. If one were to look at my report cards from college, one would summize that not many subjects interested me. Did my diploma say Cum Laude? Not quite. Uh, how 'bout Laudy How Come? It wasn't until I met the bride that things changed for me and I started caring about what I did and how I did it. Funny how I was a distraction to her and she was a motivator for me.

We did make it through open house and the limited schedule of 10-minute classes. All of Sara's teachers seemed very nice. Her homeroom teacher could be a young stunt-double for Don Cheadle. We did do something that was reminiscent of my college career - we skipped the related arts class and hung out in the hall talking to other parents. Someone started a nasty rumor that we went out back behind the gym and smoked and made out during this period, but that was completely unfounded.....

uhhh, no, thats a space peanut.....

Sounds like Joe Dirt 2 to me.....

More than 70 children got separated from their parents during the Taste of Chicago festival on June 30, but one 6-year-old boy was still unclaimed as of July 7, according to the Chicago Sun-Times, citing a police spokesperson. The boy was eventually turned over to the state Department of Children and Family Services, which found that his family had a spotty record of supporting him even before the festival. [Chicago Sun-Times, 7-8-06]

just a few things.....

* I started cleaning out the garage last weekend. Our garage had gotten to the point that it looked like a tornado had come through and had thrown all our stuff to the sides. Now that I've gone through it all and sorted out what needs to go, it looks like the tornado has come through again - only this time it left the walls clean and the middle of the garage in chaos. There were a few things I wanted to take to the dump that the bride wanted to keep. Good thing I've cleared things out in the garage, because if I throw something out that she wants to keep I may need a place to sleep.

* I had the opportunity to play in a corporate golf tournament last week. I also watched Tiger tear up the field at the PGA over the weekend. It's obvious to me that we play very different games.

* Let's say that you're talking with someone about cars. And just for the sake of argument, let's say both cars are the same year and price. You say that the Lexus is a better car, and they say the Yugo is a better car. And they're convinced. In fact, when you try to sell them on why the Lexus is better, they give you a very confused look, like you've got a third arm growing out of your forehead. I had a conversation with someone this morning that went alot like that, and it had nothing to do with cars. I was dumbfounded. Still am.

* Economists aren't the most stimulating of speakers. Even when they try to tell a joke.....especially when they try to tell a joke. In fact, whenever you hear an economist say that a chart they're about to show you in their PowerPoint presentation is "sexy", you realize just how different your life is from his, and you're very grateful for it.....

warning letter.....

To: Toshiba eStudio 350

From: The OFIT

Re: Perfomance Issue

In accordance with Policy A54, this is a letter of warning. This action is based on your inability to consistently function as a normal copy machine.

On previous occassions detailed reviews of expectations regarding your performance (or lack thereof) have been undertaken to ensure that you understand the requirements of your position. They have been discussed with you orally (like when I kick or hit you and simultaneously scream at you whenever you screw up my copies). However, you continue not to meet these expectations.

You are a copy machine - nothing more, nothing less. You are supposed to copy material that office personnel put into your feeder. At first I thought it might just be me, that it was a personal thing. But alas, other office personnel have begun to complain about your inconsistent performance.

Perhaps you're having personal problems. Maybe your belts are too tight, your levers need adjustment, or your toner cartridges require different powder. Or maybe there's trouble at home. If that's the case, we have an excellent Employee Assistance Program. Please refer to the section on the company intranet for contact information.

Your failure to adhere to the requirements of your job on an ongoing basis has a serious impact on the operations of our company, and our ability to meet our goals.

Once again, you are expected to operate properly on a consistent basis. No more paper jams. No more taking 2 sheets at a time. No more illegible copies. Period. Failure to meet these requirements will result in further corrective action, up to and including termination. In addition to this, if you are terminated I plan on hauling your no-good hunk of plastic carcass out onto I-40 and watching with delight as a passing semi crushes you to small, unrecognizable pieces.

Sincerely,

The OFIT

PS - I literally despise you.


cc: Personnel File
HR Director
Employee Relations Specialist

welcome to another installment of the duh-zone.....

Last Friday afternoon, I was badly in need of some caffeine to make it through the rest of the day. The Idols concert from the night before left me tired, seeing has how I was up past 11:00 and that's way too late for someone my age.

On my way to the vending machines, I passed by someone from a department here in my building. I said, "Hey, D*, how are you doing?"

His response was, "Hey, Bill."

That's funny, I mused to myself. That's the second person in the past few weeks to call me Bill! Oh, well, I thought. No big deal.

As D passed me, he started singing the chorus to the song "Shannon." I thought to myself, he's singing that terrible song. I can't believe this! I just wrote about how much I despised that song a few days ago. What a coincidence!

No, please, don't get ahead of me. Just wait for it.

I got back to my desk and it finally hit me. D had obviously read my blog. Duh. See how bad I needed the caffeine? I ran into D during lunch yesterday and we had a good laugh over it.

With D reading my blog, I now have a readership in excess of 4 people.....

*Alias provided to prevent damaging this person's character

let's see, i'll take a mellow yellow and a dozen grubs.....

The bride found this while cleaning out the drawers in the computer table over the weekend. This is a picture of my buddy Chance and me standing beside a live bait vending machine. There were 5 of us heading for a men's retreat for the weekend. (What do men have to retreat from? Their wives, of course! What? Hey, I kid because I love. Bygones.....)

We had stopped at this little store somewhere near Gallatin to get something to drink. When we got out of the car we saw the live bait vending machine and thought it was the funniest thing we'd ever seen. This was probably 6-7 years ago, so maybe live bait vending machines are everywhere now and it's not as funny as it was then. What do I know? I don't fish so I don't go looking for them.

We didn't have enough quarters for the crickets, though.....

the top 10 delivered.....

Not long after we sat down in section 330, row D, seats 7-10, Sara leaned over and said, "That 'Chicken Little' dude isn't singing tonight, is he?'" I calmed her fears and said that Kevin Covais didn't make the top 10, so, no, he wouldn't be performing with the others. There was a reason he didn't make the top 10, and the others on stage proved it last night.

Our seats were in the top section, but I figured with the big screens showing everything we'd be OK. And we were, really. It's just that the pictures don't show it. To the human eye, the seats were fine. With a camera, even with a 10x zoom, the performers still look small. And in some of the pictures, you'll just have to take my word when I say who the person is in the picture. And out of 150+ pictures, not many of them came out clear. Too much zoom, too much motion. (The bride has promised me that we'll get lower level tickets when Mr. Hicks goes on his solo tour. WOOOOOOOO! YES! SOUL PATROL!!!!!! Ahem.....yes, well then.....)

I stopped by the office of a good friend on my way back from lunch yesterday and mentioned that we were all going to the American Idols concert last night. He said, "Man, I could score some major points with my wife if I got tickets." Later that afternoon, he ended up with floor seats. I'll tell you just how good they were later in this post.

So here's my take on last night's concert:

Mandisa - As a friend of mine says, "Sistah' can saaaaang!" Her voice is very strong and pitch perfect. She led off with "I'm Every Woman" and nailed it. You could tell she was glad to be back home in Nashville. She did another song (can't remember what), then said she might have a special guest join her on the next song as she started singing "I'm Your Angel". Great performance!

Ace - Mr. Young was the special guest on Mandisa's song. The second he walked out on stage, every girl under 18 lost their ever-loving mind. Including Meg. There were shrieks, squeals, screams - you name it, they did it. I wasn't a big Ace fan during the season, but I have to admit that he was the biggest surprise of the night for me. His voice sounded much better than it did on the show. He finished "I'm Your Angel" then did "Father Figure", and ended with Maroon 5's "Harder to Breathe". Very strong. He'll do well when he tours.

Lisa - Although she's not the youngest member on tour, her performance shows she has the farthest to go. I think she'll do well one day, but she may not be a solo artist. I see her more as a Broadway-type. She came out doing a verse of "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" then went to the piano where she played Elton John's "Your Song" and "Someone Saved My Life Tonight." Not as strong as the first two performers, but good. Then Lisa introduced her best friend.

Paris - Lisa and Paris started off with "Waterfalls". Let me tell you, this little girl has unbelievable talent. Her small frame belies her powerful voice. And moves? Please! She did "Midnight Train to Georgia" they Beyonce's "Crazy in Love". As the young people are so fond of saying these days, "girl was shakin' her boo-tay" for all it was worth. Very, very good performance. This young lady will go far.

Bucky - I didn't "get" Bucky when I first saw him on Idol. I thought he talked like he had a mouth full of grits. And maybe he still does, but over time he's grown on me. He came out singing "Superstition" and the crowd loved it every time he mentioned how much he loved Nashville. Word has it that he's working with a record company and will be moving here soon. He isn't as smoothe a dancer as Paris, but he pulled off the heavy metal head bobbing admirably. All in all he was pretty entertaining. He started on his last song, "You're the One That I Want" and was joined by the next performer.

Kellie - Now I ask you, who wouldn't love seeing Pickler in black leather? Come on! It would be hard to not enjoy listening to her sing and talk. After finishing her duet with Bucky, she led off with "I'm the Only One" then did a little talking. She told the crowd that Nashville was going to be her new home starting the day after the tour ended. (We're currently looking for a house on our street for her.) Then she sang "Walking After Midnight" and "Something to Talk About". She then came and sat on the steps and rambled for a few minutes, telling everyone about her first trip to the Grand Ol' Opry about a year ago. Kellie told everyone that she wants to meet Dolly Parton, and if we see here we need to tell Dolly about it. She walked up the stage ramp and said it was time for intermission.

Chris - As was the case during the show, if there's fire on the screen it must be time for Chris. The Nashville crowd loved them some Chris. Including the screaming Sara. Only Taylor got a bigger reception from the fans last night. Chris led off with Led Zepplin's "Whole Lotta' Love" and you could tell the second half of the show was going to be better and louder than the first. He followed up with "Dead of Alive", then did another song but I can't remember what it was. I really enjoyed Chris's set, and I think he'll do very, very well after the AI tour. He's got the stage presence thing down. Then it was time for the Chris/Elliott duet of Nickelback's "Saving Me".

Elliott - As good as Elliott's voice is, he still needs to work on his mannerisms and moves on stage. The boy can definitely sing. After "Saving Me", he said "where my ladies at tonight?" which was followed by screams from the female audience as he began singing "Moody's Mood for Love". Very nice rendition, even better than on the show. I can't remember the next song, but he ended his solo set with Elvis's "Trouble". Then he called on 4 of his buddies to join him on stage.

Guys' song - Nice rendition of Guns 'n Roses "Patience". Good harmonies, and again the 18-and-under female population went nuts when Ace hit the high notes toward the end of the song.

Katherine - Two-three-fah, woo-hoo. Katherine led off with "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" and did a very good job with it. She went on to tell about the illness that kept her from touring the first 3-4 weeks, then told us about breaking her foot a couple of days into her part of the tour. She may not be as entertaining as some of the others, but she does have a beautiful voice and she ain't exactly hard on the eyes. Very elegant in her long black dress. She waved goodbye and then the GEC went black. I leaned over the Meg and said, "Now the real concert's gonna' start!"

Taylor - When the first two chords of "Jailhouse Rock" were played, the crowd started its roar. Taylor started singing, but no one could see him on stage. The the screens flashed and you could see him coming through the crowd down the aisle in the section below our seats. The roar went even louder.

Now remember my friend that bought the floor seats? I looked down to watch Taylor snake his way towards the stage. He ended up going behind the row that Phill and Barb were sitting in. In fact, I looked and saw them high-fiving Taylor as he went by, which was followed by Barb grabbing Phill by the shoulders and shaking him as if to say "OH MY GOSH, WE JUST TOUCHED TAYLOR HICKS!!!!" I haven't talked to Phill this morning, but I believe his mission on point-scoring was successful.

Taylor's first song on stage was Bob Seger's "Hollywood Nights". I'd heard that it was good, and I'd heard right. He followed that with "Livin' for the City", the the Beatles "Don't Let Me Down". Both were excellent. He then dedicated "Do I Make You Proud" to the troops all over the world. After this, he exited through the back door of the stage. A few people got up and left thinking that the show was over, but I knew better. After about 60 seconds, Taylor was back on stage in a new shirt and singing "Taking it to the Streets". I was able to record the whole song and you can see it here. Man, the boy knows how to work an audience. Every time he danced, the women in that place lost it. When he played the harmonica, everybody went nuts. He left the stage to roars of approval.

Mayber it's just me, but I think it's almost unfair to compare the other 9 finalists to Taylor. He's been doing this kind of thing for over 10 years. He knows what works and what doesn't. He knows how to work the crowd. He's not just a singer, he's also a musician and you can tell how much he loves doing what he does when he plays.

Can you tell that I thoroughly enjoyed the Taylor concert?

The other 8 Idols came out and did "We are the Champions", then Taylor and Katherine came out and joined them on James Brown's "Living in America".

We had a great time at the show. The only thing I'd change is having better seats, but we can work on that with the next concert.

My only problem today is that I'm tired and I need a nap.....

i've got my lighter ready.....

Last week the bride and I decided to surprise the girls with tickets to the American Idol concert in Nashville. When I first thought about doing it, I considered taking just the girls because I didn't think the bride would want to come. But when I mentioned it to her, she said she definitely wanted to go.

I've never had a desire to go to an Idol concert until this year. But this year's talent will make it a good one to see. Reviews of the tour that I've read say that all of those in the top 10 are entertaining.

We've all got our favorites. Meg wants to see Ace, he of beautiful teeth and hair (according to Meg); Sara wants to see Chris and Taylor; the bride wants to see several of them; and, of course, I'm going for the Taylor concert.

I think Meg is scared that I'll embarrass her at the concert tonight. I'll make a promise here in this public forum that I WILL NOT take my shirt off and throw it on the stage at any point during the concert. Except maybe for Pickler.....

another new season.....

Ecclesiastes 3:1
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven

About a month ago the bride took Meg to get her official drivers license. Later that afternoon, she went on her first solo drive. Seeing your firstborn drive is a surreal experience.

Yesterday the bride took Sara to school to meet her homeroom teacher. This is the last time she'll do this, because the process is a very different once 7th grade starts. Parents don't bring their kids to school on the first day - the kids just ride the bus and stay for a couple of hours.

Both of these pictures were taken just 6 years ago - Meg on her way to her first day of 5th grade, and Sara all packed up and ready for her first day of kindergarten.

I moved to Nashville from Kingsport 20 years ago. Sometimes it feels like it was 50 years ago, other times it feels more like last week.

The older you get, the faster the seasons come and go.....

caveat emptor.....

I've rarely used this blog as a forum to get up on a soap box. But I saw something yesterday that really ticked me off.

I went to a local car dealer at lunch yesterday to have a warranty transferred on the car we got for Meg. Of course there was only one person there who could do this terribly complicated transaction (take my money and put it in a drawer to be mailed; I think the guy had a diploma from MIT) so I waited for about 40 minutes to get into his office.

While I was waiting, I started looking at some of the cars on the showroom floor. Car dealers typically put the nicest, most loaded vehicles in the showroom. These are the cars everyone really wants but ends up settling for one on the lot with less equipment. While looking at some of the window stickers, I noticed an option line that really got under my skin - "MARKET VALUE ADJUSTMENT", which is another term for "Hi, this is a new model, or maybe it's really just last year's model with extra plastic and pin striping, and we're going to try our best to overcharge you even though we realize it's nowhere near worth what we're asking!" One of the vehicles had an MVA of $3,500 (over 20% of the base price) while another one had an MVA of $7,500 (almost 25% of the base price).

Yes, I realize that everything is negotiable on a car lot. But there are some people who don't seem to know this. These are the people who get their brains knocked out at the salesman's desk and leave believing they got a great deal. These are the people for whom MVA was invented. Some may say that people who pay full price on things get what they deserve. Maybe so, but that still doesn't make it right for a car dealer to rip people off.

The funny part of my visit was that the salesman who helped me with the warranty transfer had the gall to accuse oil companies of price gouging. Mr. Pot, I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Kettle.....

named him after a man of the cloth.....

I listen to iTunes radio during the day in my office. It's commercial-free (mostly) and has around 30 different genres from which to choose. I usually listen to Classic Hits Radio's classic rock station. They play songs from artitsts like Billy Joel, U2, Stevie Wonder, etc.

The other day I was working on a spreadsheet and I recognized a song that I hadn't heard in over 30 years. It was "Amos Moses" by Jerry Reed. I used to LOVE that song! They'd play it over and over on WKIN in Kingsport. Although I used to think one of the lines went, "He hunted alligator for a livin'; he'd just knock them in the head with a skunk" when the actual word was "stump" instead of "skunk". I always thought maybe the impact of a dead skunk, when combined with its potent smell, would be more effective in killing alligators. Hey, what did I know, I was a 10-year-old East Tennessee kid. I ain't never seen no alligators. How am I supposed to know how to whack an oversized lizard?

My question is this - How did "Amos Moses" make it onto Classic Hits Radio's playlist? I mean, I like the song and all, but does it really deserve to be there? How do they justify putting "Amos Moses" in between "Living for the City" and "Taking it to the Streets"?

If "Amos Moses" makes it to Classic Hits Radio, I guess "The Streak" can't be too far behind.....

london needs a dose of detective vic mackey.....

Daily Telegraph (London), 6/30/06

Max Foster, 18, complained to a London Daily Telegraph reporter in June that two police officers in Bath, England, had told him they were under instructions not to pursue a man who had been spotted on Foster's stolen moped, because the man was not wearing a helmet. According to Foster, the town's rules of engagement for officers discourage such chases because the suspect might fall off the moped, hit his head and sue the police.

nice to know.....

So I went to Provence for lunch again yesterday. Nope, didn't run into Rachel Ray, but I did learn something else.

I placed my order and went to the register to pay. The guy sees my security badge and says, "Oh, you work at 'such and such'?" I said that I did, and he proceeds to give me a discount. I said, "I've been eating here for about a year and you're the first person to tell me about a discount." No response. I then laugh and say, "That means I'm probably due a couple of free lunches, don't you think?" No response.

Yeah, I'm not holding my breath.....

best/worst one-hit-wonder songs from the 70's.....

Of all the one-hit-wonder bands, and of all their songs, the best one ever has to be "Brandy" by the band "Looking Glass." Hands down - the best, no contest. (And ain't they a handsome bunch o' fellers?)

It had it all. A memorable tune. It was very 70's sounding. The lead singer's voice was distinctive. And the story was great. About a girl who worked in a local tavern. Sailors flirted with her constantly, but she was in love with someone. Someone she could never have, someone who would never be back. Of course when the song was released, I was only 8 and didn't understand the suttle nuances of the lyrics. Great song then, and an even better song now.

Others worth considering:

Fooled Around and Fell In Love - Elvin Bishop
All Right Now - Free
Because the Night - Patti Smith Group
Smoke From a Distant Fire - Sanford-Townshend Band
The Boys are Back in Town - Thin Lizzy

Now for the flip-side. There so many to consider here, such as:

Undercover Angel - Alan O'Day
Disco Duck - Rick Dees
Seasons in the Sun - Terry Jacks
Run Joey Run - David Geddes
Playground in My Mind - Clint Holmes

But the worst song by a one-hit-wonder band/artist has GOT TO BE "Shannon" by Henry Gross. Terrible, whiney, mess of a song. If played at the proper volume, it's been known to cause all dogs within a 7-mile radius to experience violent convulsions. Which is ironic because the song was actually inspired by the death of a Carl Wilson's (Beach Boys) Irish Setter.

OK, animal lovers, go ahead and let me have it for my insensitivity.....

i wanna' be like mike.....well, for a price.....

Allen Heckard filed a lawsuit in Hillsboro, Ore., in June against Michael Jordan and Nike founder Phil Knight for $416 million each, charging that they are responsible for his "pain and suffering," and his "defamation," in that nearly every day for 15 years, people have mistaken him for Jordan.

Heckard admits to being a pretty good basketball player (though 6 inches shorter than Jordan) and to wearing Air Jordans, and in fact curiously told KGW-TV that, all in all, being recognized as Jordan was a "positive" thing. He said he arrived at the "416" figure from multiplying his age by seven (though he appears to be in his 30s, not 59).

Needless to say, Heckard filed the lawsuit without benefit of a lawyer. [KGW-TV (Portland), 7-7-06]

the week(end) that was.....

Meg and Sara took their first solo plane trip last week. They flew to Raleigh where they were picked up by Jennifer, who proceeded to spoil them rottem for approximately 72 hours. The deprogramming will take weeks. However, they did have a great time, and kids are supposed to be spoiled by cousins every now and then.

With the girls gone, the bride and I had a couple of date nights. McCreery's Pub for fish and chips one night, 5 and Diner the next where we had completely different meals - a ruben for the bride, and blueberry pancakes for me. Following dinner both nights we did what all couples who have been married for more than 15 years do when they have the house to themselves and their kids are out of town - we went shopping.

I took a half-day off Friday to drive to Johnson City for the weekend. Mark and Jennifer were bringing the girls there for us to pick up on Saturday. The trip up took almost 5 hours thanks to TDOT. And of course for those of you in the state of Tennessee, you know that TDOT stands for Tennessee Department of Terrible roads. It must be a state law that there be constant construction on I-40 365 days a year. They're doing resurfacing on a tiny bridge just before you get to exit 360 on I-40 east. Eastbound traffic was bumper-to-bumper for just over 3 miles; westbound traffic was backed up for almost 7 miles. Ridiculous. We bypassed it yesterday on the way back by getting off at 364 and ending up back on the interstate at 356. A little out of the way, but well worth it.

Saturday Dad and I did our semi-annual tour of Kingsport and the old neighborhood. I don't know what it is about it, but I love going back there and just driving around. We drove down to the lake that was about 2 miles from our old house. Years ago, when I actually liked to fish, a bunch of us neighborhood boys would ride our bikes down to the lake with our fishing gear stapped onto our bikes and we'd fish for hours. There was Kelly Bailey, Richie, Stevie and Jimbo Keesling, Steve Cooper and others. Thinking back, it wasn't so much the fishing we enjoyed as it was just hanging out. Just down from the spot that we fished, there are several new houses on the lake. I saw one that I'd move into tomorrow if it was for sale. It looked like something you'd see on a lake in the New England area. I wish I'd gotten a picture of it, but it was raining pretty hard at the time. We went by the 2 houses we lived in and they look so different now. The whole neighborhood does.

We went to Traders Village, an indoor flea market there in Kingsport. We went downtown and saw the old places we used to shop almost 40 years ago. Most of those places are out of business, having been replaced by other stores. Driving past the building that used to house Dobyns Taylor, I remembered buying my first 10-speed bike there. An orange Huffy.

Our tour of Kingsport wouldn't be complete without the obligatory trip to Pal's for lunch. Chili cheeseburger, frenchy fries and a Diet Coke. I once e-mailed the owner, Pal Barger, and asked if he'd consider opening a few Pal's here in the Nashville area. He responded by saying that their strategy was to stay in the upper East Tennessee area. Probably just as well, because if they were in the area I'd weigh 250.

Not long after I got to the office this morning, I got an e-mail from Chris who told me that a friend of ours from school died last week. Danny Brown was one of the people who hung out with us at our table in the commons area every morning before school. The thing I always remembered about Danny was that Chris and I used to tell him he looked constipated, and it always aggravated him. Sometimes I'd lean over and act like I was saying something to Chris and Danny would yell, "I AIN'T CONSTIPATED!!!!!" Chris reminded me of a story about Danny when we were at the beach a few weeks ago. Danny and I both tried out for basketball at Central our sophmore year, and neither of us made it. Danny went and asked the JV coach why he didn't make it. Coach Maddux said, "Brown, you couldn't guard a Christmas tree!"

My first thought when I read Chris's e-mail this morning was that guys my age aren't supposed to die, especially guys who are friends of mine. Then I had to remind myself that I'm not 17 any more.....

dear vince.....

Dear Vince,

Congratulations on signing with the Titans yesterday! Wow, $58 million over 5 or 6 years is very impressive!

I hope you're getting settled in at home. All the Titans fans are glad you're here! Well, most of them are. And for those who wanted Leinart instead of you, what do they know anyway? You got the national championship ring last year and not him, right?

Listen, I know you're busy and all but, well, I'll just come out and say it. When a young man comes into a great deal of money all at once, there's always the tendancy that he'll get mixed up with all the wrong kinds of things. Be sure that you get into things where your money will do the most good. There are all kinds of charities and good causes in middle Tennessee, from churches to volunteer organizations. Or, hey, here's an idea right off the top of my head - how about if you were to provide college money for kids in the Nashville area, say Franklin, to be more specific? I'd even be glad to find the first two recipients for you.

Not everyone is blessed with great athletlic talent. Not everyone has the ablility to market themselves in front of millions and millions of people on the national championship stage. Some kids simply want to be graphic designers/interior designers and teachers. Giving them that chance would no doubt provide you with a great sense of pride.

So let me know what you think about this idea. When you consider that a couple hundred thousand is just about one-third of a percent of your total compensation package, you'd be giving so little to make such a difference in the lives of two kids.

Sincerely,

The OFIT

PS - I always wore the #10 on my jerseys when I played sports, too. Pretty cool, huh? OK then.....