Friday, April 29, 2005

inappropriate responses.....

There's a comedian who does a bit about "you too", and I can't remember his name. He talks about being in a cab on his way to the airport. When the cab driver pulls up to the curb to drop him off at his airline's counter, the cabbie says "Have a nice flight!", to which the guy responds "You, too!" Inappropriate response.

I read about a guy who attended the wake of a friend's grandfather. His friend was talking about getting his teeth laser-bleached by his fiance', who happens to be a dental hygenist with 3 months on the job. She had yet to perform the procedure on anything but tomatoes (don't know why tomatoes were used for this). The guy hearing this says, "Man, I wouldn't let her near my mouth unless she had at LEAST practiced on a cadaver or two!" Everyone within 10 feet of him stopped what they were doing and stared. Inappropriate response.

The mail carrier was leaving our office yesterday. As he passed by the conference room, I said "Have a great day, David!" His reply was, "You're welcome!" And he wasn't trying to be funny. Funny, unintentional, inappropriate response.

When I was about 10, we were visiting some friends on New Years Eve. Mom wanted me to try some Russian tea. I took a sip and said, "Mom, this stuff is horrible! I can't drink this!" Mom quickly informed me that the hostess had prepared the tea, not her. "Oh, I'm-I'm-I'm sorry, it's delicious!" Open mouth, insert foot, inappropriate response.

As I've gotten older, I'm a little better at keeping my foot out of my mouth. But there are still times when I say something and instantly think, "Man, I've got to start working on that inner monologue thing and use it more often......"

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