corporal "boots" miller could sell this.....

In May, Lester Clancy was awarded a U.S. patent for a ropeless jump rope (a handle that electronically duplicates the feel of a jump-rope handle), which he said would be practical for, among other places, mental institutions and prisons where actual rope is banned.

OK, let's talk about the mental institution example. I remember an episode of MASH where an injured soldier (Corporal Boots Miller) shot at invisible enemy fighter pilots flying over the compound above the 4077th with a not-so-invisible rifle. He received a Section Eight, was discharged from the army, and went on to start his own toy company featuring a product called "invisible enemy fighter pilot". He never saw the enemy pilots, but he believed they were there; rather, his mind convinced him that they were there.

Ol' Lester is convinced that the ropeless jump rope will be practical for mental institutions. If I were a bettin' man, I'd say that somewhere over time a patient from a mental institution has already "invented" the ropeless jump rope. I mean, I've heard of people who believed they were Benjamin Franklin or Napoleon Bonaparte. Surely at some time a mental patient has believed he's jumping rope without a jumprope.

Perhaps the reason Lester believes the ropeless jump rope will be successful in mental institutions is because he actually escaped from one.....