i bet she wanted to hear free bird.....

Seattle Post-Intellinger - 8/9/07

In August, employees at the bar Changes, in Seattle, had to break up a karaoke-night attack by a woman on a man who was singing the Coldplay song "Yellow." The woman had shouted, "Oh, no, not that song. I can't stand that song." She charged the stage, screamed at the man and shoved him (and it eventually took four men to hold her for police).

i think he's messing with me.....

I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday. I hadn't been in almost a year. We changed insurance companies this year and the BCBS plan we're on costs an arm and a leg for doctor visits compared to what we were on last year. So for that reason, I decided to put off the appointment so that I would just go once this year. Next year we'll get back on a decent insurance plan. Nobody's fault but my own, I made the choice. Just turned out to be a poor one.

I wasn't dreading this visit. About a month ago I decided to start running again and I haven't missed a day since. I run about 2-3.5 miles a day at the Y and I've dropped 10 pounds so far, so I was anxious to see how my bloodwork numbers would turn out. Plus I wasn't dreading the scales as much. But I had forgotten about the unfair scales in my doctor's office.

The nurse called my name and I went back with her. Our first stop was the scales. I stepped on them, confident that I'd see a particular number. Instead I saw a number about 6 pounds heavier than what I'd seen only 2 hours before. Huh? I hadn't eaten that morning! I was starving! And I sure as heck wasn't wearing 6 pounds of clothing! I'm convinced they recalibrate the scales just before I get there. Just to mess with me. And, I swear, I think I heard her snicker just as I stepped on the scales.

Though a bit dejected, I decided not to let it bother me. By that time I was so hungry I could only focus on the Krispy Kreme breakfast I would have as soon as I left the medical building. My doctor, who could be Letterman's brother (except with better teeth), said he was sure my numbers would be good. I had the blood drawn in the lab downstairs. (By the way, I've developed a theory on nurses who draw blood: the uglier they are, the better they are at putting the needle in. The bride said I was awful for saying that, but it's true. Tuesday's draw left a big ol' bruise. The ugly nurses must have been at home that day.) Then I left for the doughnuts.

Next time I go to the doctor I'm stripping down to my boxers to see if I can get a more accurate reading. Just hope the nurse doesn't snicker then.....

breezy baby.....

Sara and I were coming out of Wal Mart Monday night and we saw a display for the DVD re-release of "The Jungle Book". The reason for the re-release is because the movie is now 40 years old. Sara saw that and said, "Gosh, it's that old?" Nothing like remembering your favorite Disney movie and realizing you were 3 when it came out.

One of my favorite characters in the movie was Bagheera the panther. The main reason I liked him was because he was the first movie character I can remember who's voice was done by someone on television. Sebastian Cabot, a.k.a. Mr. French from "Family Affair", provided the voice for Bagheera. I remember seeing this sleek, black panther on the screen but in my mind seeing a rotund, almost sissy-acting butler. Sissy-acting because I didn't know any guy from East Tennessee who talked like that.

I started telling Sara the story of "Family Affair", about how Uncle Bill adopted Buffy, Jody and Cissy and how they all lived together in New York City with Mr. French. But it hit home with her when I told her that Julie's doll, Mrs. Beasley, actually became very popular because of the show.

Ah, Mrs. Beasley, or Breezy Baby as I called her. Older brothers are born to torment the dolls of their younger sisters. It's an unwritten rule. I used to pretend to make out with Mrs. Beasley and say "oh, Breezy Baby". It made Julie ever so mad. Bygones.

Mrs. Beasley is still alive and well. She's had a couple of new outfits done for her over the years. At one time her face was starting to show some age and I mentioned that Mrs. Beasley seemed to have a 5 o'clock shadow. I don't think Julie liked that much either.....

ow, dude, that hurts......

CARACAS (Reuters) - A Venezuelan man who had been declared dead woke up in the morgue in excruciating pain after medical examiners began their autopsy.

Carlos Camejo, 33, was declared dead after a highway accident and taken to the morgue, where examiners began an autopsy only to realize something was amiss when he started bleeding.

They quickly sought to stitch up the incision on his face.

"I woke up because the pain was unbearable," Camejo said, according to a report on Friday in leading local newspaper El Universal.

His grieving wife turned up at the morgue to identify her husband's body only to find him moved into a corridor -- and alive.

Reuters could not immediately reach hospital officials to confirm the events. But Camejo showed the newspaper his facial scar and a document ordering the autopsy.

the enablers.....

I sharpened pencils. Cleaned the mirrors in the half bath. Vacuumed downstairs.

Little Sara brought in folding chairs from the garage.

Young Meg helped arrange pictures on the table in the foyer.

All of this on a Sunday night for what? Bunco. Yes, Bunco's back at our house.

Tonight at 7:00, eleven women from the neighborhood will descend upon our otherwise Rockwell-esque home and make it a den of iniquity for approximately 3 hours. Dice rolling. Bells ringing. Women screaming.

And apparently, we're not welcome. The bride has a "shopping list" ready for us to keep us busy during her party.

It's probably for the best. The girls don't need to see any of that kind of element in our house anyway.....

doesn't make sense to me.....

The other day I overheard a lady say she was switching doctors. With her new doctor, she was able to get an appointment scheduled for a date less than 2 weeks out. Then she talked about how it took about 6-8 weeks to get an appointment with the lady who'd been cutting her hair for almost 5 years.

If I were in high school contemplating my career and I'd heard about this, I'd be thinking: "Should I spend 10 years to become an OBGYN or 6 months in cosmetology school? Which one is more in demand? Hmmmm."

Maybe it's just me, but that just doesn't seem right....

big 10 television programming.....

Another one of those I wish I'd written.....

Given the inglorious start to the season in the Big Ten Conference, The Dash has a few suggestions for altering programming on the league's new television outlet:

6:00-9:00 -- "Big Ten-ACC Challenge, the Football Version." Commissioner Jim Delany uses charts, graphs and video to show that there is one BCS conference faring worse than his.

9:00-9:30 -- "Appreciating the Quality of I-AA Football." Lloyd Carr is host.

9:30-10:00 -- "He Works Hard For the Money." Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz explains why he's worth the $2.8 million he's making per year. (Video highlights of the Hawkeyes' loss to previously winless Iowa State not included. Video highlights of last year's 6-7 team, which began the season ranked No. 16, also not included.)

10:00-Noon -- "Great Moments in Big Ten Marching Band History."

Noon-12:30 -- "That '80s Show." Highlight clips from the Northwestern teams that lost 34 straight from 1979-82 are compared to the current Wildcats' home loss to Duke. Viewers invited to vote for which is worse.

12:30-1:00 -- "Insight in Hindsight." Minnesota athletic director Joel Maturi reviews tape of the Gophers' 42-39 loss to Florida Atlantic, concludes that Glen Mason would have lost by more. "I guarantee you," Maturi says, "we will not blow a 31-point lead in a bowl game this year." Left unsaid: They won't get near a bowl this year.

1:00-6:00 -- "Woody Versus Bo Marathon." Fans invited to vote for their favorite handoff.

6:00-6:30 -- "Style Points Don't Count." Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema explains why trailing UNLV into the final two minutes and being tied at halftime with The Citadel should not result in a rankings demotion for his Badgers.

6:30-7:00 -- "Great Halftime Adjustments." Ohio State's Jim Tressel shows us why it's all about the second half in college football, ignoring fact that his team has been outscored 9-6 by Akron and Washington in the past two first halves.

7:00-Midnight -- All-time Indiana basketball highlights.

Midnight-12:05 -- All-time Indiana football highlights.

12:05-12:30 -- Live look-in at Ron Zook writing letters to recruits, promising immediate playing time and banana splits for breakfast.

12:30-1:00 -- "Undefeated is Undefeated." Penn State's Joe Paterno defends his team's 3-0 record against opponents ranked 113th (Notre Dame), 126th (Buffalo) and 144th (Florida International) in the Sagarin Ratings. Guest star Joe Tiller of Purdue chimes in about the challenges of beating teams ranked 86th (Central Michigan), 121st (Toledo) and 178th (Eastern Illinois).

1:00-6:00 -- Silent Film Festival. Paterno screens his personal favorites.

yeah, but not 24 hours in a row.....

KTRK-TV, Houston - 7/17/07

Serena Yen, a member of the 24 Hour Fitness gym in Houston complained to KTRK-TV in July that she had been inadvertently shut inside recently at about midnight while using an upstairs exercise machine, when employees locked up for the night. A spokesman at the company's headquarters said that "24 Hour" does not refer to the hours of operation.

it's gender-biased.....

One of the sessions I attended last week was on communication. The session was led by a woman. And she was very good. She brought up a few points that I was able to take back to work with me and use on a daily basis. Some of the "exercises" were stupid, but that's probably just my opinion. I'm sure someone there found them to be useful.

Someone there mentioned that they'd never attended a seminar on communication that was led by a man. (I could mention who brought this up, but I'm trying to protect this person's name.) All those at the lunch table agreed with this person. It wasn't said in a sexist kind of way, because there was a mix of both men and women at our table.

There are several books on the men vs. women subject of talking and communicating. The most recent one is by Dr. Louann Brizendine, clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco. In her current best-seller, "The Female Brain" , Brizendine tells us that "A woman uses about 20,000 words per day while a man uses about 7,000." That's about a 3:1 ratio, folks.

I guess grunts, nods, sighs and other bodily emissions don't count for guys.....

it ain't easy being orange.....

I texted Chris with a movie quote when Florida went up 28-6 late in the second quarter. While watching the game, I was reminded of a line from "The Waterboy". There's a scene where the town is having a pep rally for the Mud Dog's upcoming bowl game. The opposing team shows up and their coach reveals that Bobby Boucher never actually received a high school diploma. When the crowd hears the news that the waterboy is no longer eligible to play, Rob Schneider's character responds with the following: "Oh, no, we suck again!" That's how I felt after Florida scored its fourth touchdown. Imagine how I felt when I got home from the wedding and learned that the Gators hung a big ol' 59 on us. Yeah.

As an aside, the wedding was nice. Nice and quick for the ceremony itself. But then there was a reception which included a full sit-down dinner. That added about 3 hours to the whole thing, and we were one of the first to leave.

I really didn't expect UT to win. I WANTED them to win, but I wasn't sure the defense would hold up. I just didn't think it would be a blowout.

So now UT is 1-2. I went into the season thinking we'd go 9-3, maybe 10-2 if we got a few breaks. Now I'm wondering if they win 6.

But I'll go ahead and make a prediction right now - if we lose to Alabama and Georgia, Fulmer's days could be over. Add South Carolina to that list, and I'll just about guarantee he'll be gone by season's end. The question is, who could you get that would be better.....

dude, what happened.....

Alexander Ocampo, 27, was arrested in Hilton Head Island, S.C., in July for DUI and for continuing to drive on even after his car had briefly spun out of control, oblivious of the fact that his passenger had been ejected through his open window. (The passenger survived, but with serious injuries.)

IslandPacket.com (Hilton Head Island), 7-16-07

today's post is brought to you by the letter "g".....

"G" is for golf. Conference tournament golf, to be exact. At my home course. With my dad and others that I've known for 20+ years. It's gonna' be a good day.....

big crybabies.....

Annual "crying sumo" events are held in several Japanese cities every year (the most recent in Tokyo in April), featuring sumo wrestlers holding specially dressed toddlers out in front of them and coaxing them to cry, with the first bawler declared the winner.

[CNN, 4-29-07]

good and bad of the football weekend.....

The football weekend started with tailgating before the Centennial/Independence game Friday night. By 5:30, the parking lot was packed. The band and team did the Cougar walk, and the players had their game faces on. The first half ended tied at 13. In the second halk Centennial had 2 (count 'em, 2) touchdowns called back because of "penalties". At least one of the calls was suspect at best. Anyway, Independence ended up winning 26-13. Maybe we can pull a win off next Friday night.

The Vols came back with a 39-19 win over Souther Miss Saturday night. The defense decided to take the first half off, but they made up for it in the second half. Arian Foster had a strong game, as well as Erik Ainge and Austin Rogers. Upset losses by Michigan, Auburn and Boise State continue to make this college football season interesting. Hopefully the Vols can pull an upset of their own at The Swamp next weekend.

The Titans pulled off a semi-upset at Jacksonville Sunday winning 13-10. VY didn't look all that great, but both Chris Brown and Lendale White made up for that on the ground. And the defense took care of the Jaguars' running game.

I just love this time of the year.....

friday night lights.....

Centennial High School's football team doesn't have a storied past. Actually they do, it's just that the story doesn't read too well for the past few years.

For the past couple of years I've watched them win a total of 3 games. During that time I saw them run the same 5-6 plays from the wishbone formation over and over and over again. Fourth and 9? They'd run an option to the short side of the field. First and 10? Almost always it would be either the fullback or a tailback running up the middle.

During the off-season CHS hired a new coach, Mark Matykiewicz. Most of the kids call him Coach M because it's just too difficult to pronounce his last name. Coach M came in and saw that CHS didn't have what it took to run the wishbone effectively, so this year they're running a 4-wide, no huddle offense. So far, so good. They won their first game 30-7. The guys are having fun playing again, and the fans are having fun watching them play.

Tonight CHS hosts Independence at home. Last year's game at Independence, the Cougars were blown out 42-7 (I think that was the final score). Hopefully it'll be a much better game tonight with better results for CHS. Tailgating starts at 4:30. They're doing the "Cougar Walk", sort of like the Vol Walk, around 5:30 or 6:00. Then the game's at 7:30.

Friday nights are fun again.....

you can tell she ain't from around here.....

If you're a University of Tennessee football fan, there are certain dates you just don't mess with. Even if you're not a diehard UT fan, you know about these dates and you steer other events clear of these dates. And even if you're just a resident of the state of Tennessee and not a fan at all, you should know better than to plan any type of event on any Saturday from September through the first of December. One would think this is just common knowledge.

We got an invitation to a wedding a few weeks ago. A teacher-friend of the bride's is getting married. The bride wanted to make sure I was going to be in town on this date. The conversation went a little like this:

the bride - "So you're going to be in town on the 15th, right?"

me - "Yeah, I've got an in-town conference Wednesday through Friday that week, but I should be free."

the bride - "Good, 'cause Courtney's wedding is at 5:00 that day."

me - "5:00? Oooh, gee, uh...."

the bride - "What's wrong?"

me - "I'm sorry, I hope you don't mind going to this wedding alone."

the bride - "Um, what do you mean?"

me - "Sweetie, honey, love of my life - that's the UT/Florida game. Kickoff is at 2:30 and it won't be over until around 6:00. Maybe I could meet you at the reception. How's that, hmm?"

The bride didn't like it, but I had to put my foot down. So "we" decided that I could watch the first half and then go to the wedding. I'd call it a compromise but it's not really. It's more like the older I get the less I enjoy sleeping on the couch.

I guess if I'm being fair, the lady getting married and her groom are both Oklahoma State graduates. So maybe they didn't get the memo about Tennessee fans and how they hold Saturdays in the fall to be sacred. Plus, this lady's like 6'4". The first time I met her I felt like I was one of her preschool students.

I may have to give Verizon a call and see about getting the game on my phone that day.....

dang, i feel so uneducated.....

WCBS-TV, 7/14/07

In Chappaqua, N.Y., the owner of the Via Genova water bar told WCBS-TV in July that she offers 80 different bottled waters from around the world, with the most popular at $30 and "Bling H2O" priced at $55, but hopes business picks up: "There are so many people that are uneducated about water."

22 missed tackles.....

I heard a sports radio person say this morning that the tree-huggers outside of Cal's stadium did a better job of wrapping up than UT's defense Saturday night. Very true.

Fulmer said in his weekly television show that 31 points should be enough to win a football game. I guess that's assuming your defense shows up.

But I will have to say that Cal was very well prepared and very fast. If Cal gets USC's rejects, USC must have one whale of a team.

OK, so it's Souther Miss at Neyland this weekend. Pay-per-view and radio only. Then Florida. Better get the defense whipped into shape, Coach Chavis.....

well that didn't last long.....

So I blew up during the Vol's first offensive possession. I don't care what the call on the field was, Ainge's arm was going forward. Incomplete pass.....