Yes, it was hot and you probably wanted something to cool you off.
Yes, the soft serve cones are just 79 cents.
Yes, I'm sure it was delicious.
But, Dude, the ice cream goes in your mouth, not all over your face. I mean, come on, you're in your 30's. Did you not realize that with each bite you were getting more and more on your face? First it was the end of your nose. Then the left side of your face, then the right side. Followed by your chin. And you either didn't know it was all over your face or you didn't care.
All of this was bad enough, but suddenly you decided you needed to make a call? So you're driving, a cone of cream in one hand and your cell phone in the other. Perhaps that's why you couldn't use a napkin - you were out of hands.
I'm sure that as a child you were adorable with a face full of ice cream. But those days are over. Next time you stop for ice cream, pick up a handful of napkins. And turn your cell phone off.....