I always tell people that they need to go with their strengths. If you're a klutz, be a klutz with gusto. If you're an overeater, go all out. If your a smart alec, be a wise guy to everyone. One of the things I'm good at is killing tropical plants in my office.
Just across from my desk, in the right-hand corner of my office, sits my latest victim. When I brought it in almost 6 months ago, it was vibrant - the picture of health for a plant. I remember going to Home Depot during lunch to compare carpet prices. On my way in, I noticed that they had several tropical plants out front. They were priced at just $4.99, and I'm all about a bargain, so I began my search for the right plant. (I had recently killed an office plant, though this one hung on for over two years, so it endured a slow painful death. One of my employees took it home and tried to nurse it back to health, all to no avail. It was too far gone.) After talking with a sales associate about which plant would be the most hardy, I chose some type of indoor palm. When I picked it up, I thought that I felt it shudder, as if it were Clarice Starling and I was Dr. Hannibal Lecter. I was very proud of my $4.99 purchase. My employees marveled at the great buy and the seemingly healthy plant. Little did they know that the palm actually started dying the minute I paid for it. I've watered it; not too much, not too little. I've tried to do all the right things to keep it growing, but it grows more yellow by the day.
I'm not an evil person. I don't enjoy killing plants. I'd love to be able to make plants flourish here in my office. It just doesn't work out for me that way. The bride does well with indoor plants. My employees seem to do a pretty good job with their plants. Maybe it's just me. But maybe word has gotten out in the plant kingdom that plants don't stand a chance in my office, and they come in expecting to die. Yeah, that's it; it's the plants' fault, not mine.....it's their poor attitude that leads to their demise.....
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