Wednesday, May 07, 2008

not what we'd hoped for.....

Have you ever bought something that didn't work like it was supposed to work? I'm not talking about exercise equipment that's promoted by people who spend 18 hours a day in a gym. I'm talking about stuff that you buy, bring home, set it up, and it's supposed to do what it says it will do on the box.

About a week ago, we noticed ants on the kitchen countertop near the sink. "Fear not, fair maiden," I told the bride. "I shall fetch ant traps from yonder store, and ye shall worry no more about these wretched pests." (Actually, I think it was more like, "OK, OK, I'll get the ant traps! NOW can I finish watching 'The Office'????") So I bought the ant traps from True Value Hardware and set them out. One day later, the ants were still there. Three days later, there were more of them. Now a week later, and they seem to be thriving.

I decided to get a closer look into the traps last night. To say I was surprised at what I saw is an understatement.

I peered inside the first trap and saw a small shopping center, complete with a Vitamin Shoppe, Whole Foods and Walgreens. The second trap contained a night club. As I watched in utter amazement, I saw a bartender with dozens of patrons, a couple of waitresses, and a band setting up on a stage to the side. The last trap had what I suspected all along - a fertility clinic. The female ants were coming out of the clinic with big grins on their faces.

I think I need some different ant traps.....

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