Have you ever bought something that didn't work like it was supposed to work? I'm not talking about exercise equipment that's promoted by people who spend 18 hours a day in a gym. I'm talking about stuff that you buy, bring home, set it up, and it's supposed to do what it says it will do on the box.
About a week ago, we noticed ants on the kitchen countertop near the sink. "Fear not, fair maiden," I told the bride. "I shall fetch ant traps from yonder store, and ye shall worry no more about these wretched pests." (Actually, I think it was more like, "OK, OK, I'll get the ant traps! NOW can I finish watching 'The Office'????") So I bought the ant traps from True Value Hardware and set them out. One day later, the ants were still there. Three days later, there were more of them. Now a week later, and they seem to be thriving.
I decided to get a closer look into the traps last night. To say I was surprised at what I saw is an understatement.
I peered inside the first trap and saw a small shopping center, complete with a Vitamin Shoppe, Whole Foods and Walgreens. The second trap contained a night club. As I watched in utter amazement, I saw a bartender with dozens of patrons, a couple of waitresses, and a band setting up on a stage to the side. The last trap had what I suspected all along - a fertility clinic. The female ants were coming out of the clinic with big grins on their faces.
I think I need some different ant traps.....
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