two more ways to know you're getting old.....

1. Your oldest daughter finished her last day of classes for her freshman year in college earlier this week.

2. Your youngest daughter will be a freshman in high school in about 3 months.

No wonder I like going to bed so early these days.....

hey, y'all, watch this.....

Bloomington, Minnesota

Police said a 23-year-old man is in stable condition after he pretended that he was falling off a bridge over the Minnesota River, then actually fell off the bridge. Police got a call just before 5 a.m. Sunday from a 21-year-old man who said his friend fell off the Highway 77 bridge and into a marshy area about 30 feet below.

The caller said he was driving north when his friend, who he said had been drinking, told him to pull into the bridge's emergency lane so he could urinate.

The 23-year-old stood eventually climbed to the ledge of the bridge, then looked at his friend and pretended to fall. "He then in fact fell," reads a press release from the Bloomington Police Department.

Police from Bloomington and Eagan responded, and the Eagan Fire Department used a chair lift to retrieve the man. He was transported to Hennepin County Medical Center where was treated.

i know it was you fredo; you broke my heart.....

New York Daily News - 2/7/09

Joseph Milano, owner of Goomba's Pizza in Palm Coast, Fla., was in the federal witness protection program for squealing on Bonanno crime family members in New York but lost his anonymity in January when he was arrested for allegedly pistol-whipping a customer who had dared to criticize his calzone.

what a weekend.....

This past weekend was the very definition of perfect when it comes to weather. Mid-80's, low humidity, very few clouds. Perfect.

I did, however, hear a few people say that it was just too hot. I felt like punching them in the face, but I held back. These were probably the same people complaining about the cold weather two weeks ago. I guess they have to have something to complain about.

Spring is finally here.....

brilliant.....

Morning Sentinel (Waterville) - 4/1/09

Two adults and three teenagers were arrested in Waterville, Maine, in March and charged with arson, with all the evidence needed consisting of a video the five made, describing their crime, crafted with theme music and cast-and-crew credits.

it's the little things.....

The bride and I are celebrating our 21st year of marriage today. We've always tried to do something special for each other on anniversaries and birthdays. On her 40th birthday, I surprised the bride with a trip to the doctor because I thought I was having a heart attack. Thoughtful, that's what I am.

The bride got a jump on the festivities a day early this year. She woke up just before 4:00 Wednesday morning and couldn't get out of bed. I heard all kinds of noises and thought she was having a bad dream. Turns out she was just attempting to roll over and couldn't because of some severe back pain. We went to the doctor, and she loaded her up with a muscle relaxant, a steroid pack, and 800 mg Ibuprofen pills.

Oh, the things we do for love.....

i-right, fake 21, bootleg hot pass on one....

WFTS (Tampa) - 4/1/09

In March, two men were seen on a backyard surveillance camera in St. Petersburg, Fla., attempting a home break-in during the day when no one was home. According to the police report, one of the men assumed a football stance, then ran the length of the yard and rammed the back door. However, the latch held, and the impact sent the man backward, leaving him on the ground, writhing in pain. The collision also triggered an alarm, and the men escaped before police arrived.

old friends are the best friends.....

I've been able to catch up with so many old friends because of Facebook. About a month ago, I found some friends from my old church youth group. Over the course of several emails, messages, and a few phone calls, we've decided to have a reunion this fall. The committee met in Kingsport on Saturday and we had a great time seeing each other. I hadn't seen ANY of them in about 27 years, but the conversation flowed like we'd just seen each other last week. One of the main topics of discussion regarded how we used to get into so much trouble during youth outings. Some of those times involved mooning. (I never said we were necessarily the best role models.)

I'm really looking forward to the next committee meeting.....

he has no control.....

Metrowest Daily News - Framingham, 3/2/09

Christos Kokkalis, 19, allegedly doing 65 mph in a 30 mph zone, was charged with assault in Framingham, Mass., in March, for reacting badly to a pedestrian's hand gesture suggesting he slow down. According to a police report, Kokkalis swerved across a street into the man's path, drove by, turned around and did it again. The report said Kokkalis denied fault, claiming that his car "turns on its own" because of an "alignment" problem.

an old fart characteristic.....

Remember how I said the other day that the M*A*S*H marathon I watched this weekend was obviously targeted for on audience older than me because of all the AARP and incontinency advertisements? Evidently the mere fact that I watched these commercials caused me to act elderly yesterday.

I parked my car Tuesday morning where I normally park it. I got out of my car and began to walk across the street toward my building. We'd had some storms pass through on Monday night, and it was breezy. But for some reason it felt breezier than it ought to, breezier than the force of the current wind. I felt cooler than I should have felt. I looked down. The barn door was wide open. (Fortunately, no livestock escaped.) Ever discovered your zipper was open and try to calmly but quickly close it? It never works. What I thought would take less than 2 seconds ended up taking about 4 attempts. Luckily it was before 6:30 and there were no other people around. Or maybe the early birds could see me through their office windows and had a good laugh. If so, I'm glad I could start their day off with a little comedy.

For lunch on Tuesday, I had melba toast and cottage cheese.....

my girls, easter morning.....

yet another way to tell i must be getting old.....

The bride and the girls watched the movie Twilight Saturday night. I was invited to watch, but I have vowed to go to my grave without watching Twilight or any of the High School Musical movies. I believe it's important to have goals in life. I decided to watch a M*A*S*H marathon instead.

During the third episode, I figured out from the commercials that I must be a bit young for their target audience. It was the commercials advertising AARP and home delivery of incontinent supplies that gave it away. During the next commercial break, I watched the Loud 'n Clear hearing aid commercial.

After the fourth episode, I drank a warm glass of milk and went to bed.....

new film-making method.....

Canadian Broadcasting Corp. - 3/12/09

Canadian filmmaker Rob Spence said recently that he would install a prosthetic eye with a camera and wireless transmitter (of the size now used for colonoscopies) into the socket from which one of his eyes had been removed as the result of a childhood accident. He hopes to control the prosthetic eye in the same way that his muscles control his good eye, to record what his eyes see, and his first project will be a documentary on people's attitudes about privacy in an "Orwellian society." "(T)he best way to make a connection (with an interviewee) is through eye contact," he said. "When you bring in a camera, people change."

just about the only pick i got right in my brackets this year.....

because when i'm out of town, i tend to eat like a pig.....

This was my meal Friday night, courtesy of Calhoun's.....

had about all the quaint i can stand.....

I've always loved this place. Whenever I come to Gatlinburg, I always stay at the same place. They've had the same staff for 20+ years. They deliver homemade, hot doughnuts and fresh-squeezed orange juice to your room. It's old, it's rustic. It's quaint.

My problem? I'm writing this on my balcony. That's not all that bad. But it's the only place I can get a good wireless connection. Oh, they say they have wireless internet. But it's so weak, you have to be outside to get it.

I called the front desk. She told me to try it in different places around the room. The only place I can half-way get it in the room is if I'm over near the bathroom sink. Not the best place to have a computer. She also invited me to come try it out in the hotel lobby. I wanted to ask if she knew that defeated the point, but I didn't.

I'll just stay somewhere else next time.....