Last Thursday night I started painting the bonus room. We've got furniture that will be delievered this Saturday, and I've got a new plasma television just sitting in its box waiting for the room to be painted, so I figured I'd better get started. (At about 12:30 early Saturday morning, I think the paint fumes were getting to me. I could have sworn the plasma television was talking to me, mocking me, saying things like, "Dude, the SEC Championship game is tomorrow afternoon and I'm still in a box????? Be a man! Get me out of this box and let's hang high-def style!" After a quick shake of the head I was OK.) You may recall that I despise painting. I would rather take a beating than paint. But there was a carrot on the end of the stick, so I perservered.
I have a strict policy about the music I listen to between Thanksgiving and Christmas - it can only be Christmas music. A friend gave me a couple of CDs to listen to last week. She asked if I'd listened to them yet and I told her about my Christmas music policy. She looked at me as if I had just told her I was from Jupiter.
So as I began to paint the bonus room I turned the television (stupid analog, antiquated, square, non-plasma thing) on and went to the music section of channels. Channel 401 was "Sounds of the Season", so I landed there. The first song was "O Holy Night" by the Temptations. The lead singer evidently had a 7-octave range and mosied between octaves 6 and 7 during the whole song. My right eardrum burst during the final chorus. Robert Goulet was next. I can't hear or see Robert Goulet now without thinking of Will Ferrell. Then it was Doris Day. But the one that got me was when they played Carol Channing. Carol Channing? Really?
I love to hear the old Christmas songs and those who sang them. Bing Crosby. Dean Martin. Perry Como. But Carol Channing? (At least it wasn't Celine Dion. I swear, I'd rather hear an elephant strain during a bowel movement than to listen to her.)
Considering that my Comcast bill every month is closing in on what I pay for my mortgage, I'm expecting a little better than Carol Channing sings "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus".....