a change is gonna' come.....

Ever do something that you're really proud of, then do something to completely negate it? The most painful part of it is trying to kick yourself in the butt for letting it happen.

About 4 years ago I lost almost 30 pounds in 4 months. I had gone to basketball practice with Meg and we ran drills with the girls that night. After about 4 half-court drills I was exhausted. I came home that night and saw that the waistband from my nylon warm-up pants had left an indentation around my waist. That night I decided to start working on my weight loss. At 9:30, I went out in the dark of a cold early-January night and started running. I made it about 2 blocks before I had to stop because it felt that my heart was going to leap out of my chest. But little by little I built up to a mile. Within about 6 months I could do a little over 3 miles without stopping.

Over the past 4 years I've let it all but 8 pounds return. How? Different factors - laziness, poor eating habits, and age. It's amazing how much difference 4 year makes. I told a friend of mine about this the other day and she said, "Don't talk about 4 years ago! There's a whole lot more I could do 4 years ago that I can't do now."

So this weekend I decided to "sow my wild oats" when it came to food. I didn't go overboard, but I ate stuff that I wanted to eat and enjoyed it. I topped it off Sunday evening with an ice cream sundae (after having had cake and ice cream earlier in the evening), knowing that I was going to go hard-core, cold turkey starting Monday morning. It's the same low-carb diet that helped me lose the 30 pounds before. And I've found that if I'm going to lose weight, I have to be strict about what I eat. I can do it if I make my mind up and discipline myself. It's just that I've told myself all summer that ice cream at night is OK; that chips and dip for lunch are OK; and that one more roll from Logan's won't hurt.

My pants are too tight around the waist. I've come close to emulating George Costanza, preferring shorts and pants with elastic bands to those that zip up. The only articles of clothing that fit right any more are my shoes.

I'm adopting the chorus from a Sam Cooke song as my mantra:

It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change is gonna come, oh yes it will.....