deflections.....

Remember being a kid, getting in trouble for something, and trying to blame someone or something else for the problem? From "you didn't tell me" to "but she said...."; as a parent I've heard them all. And as a former kid, I used quite a few (if not all) of them. And alot of times, it's over stuff that's pretty inconsequential when looking at the big picture. But there comes a time when you have to take responsibility for things.

Several weeks ago, I wrote about a pet peeve I have concerning people who feel that they have to make others around them look bad in order to make themselves look good. Ever noticed that those people are usually deflectors? When asked about why something did or didn't happen, they say stuff like "well I thought so-and-so did....." or "it's not my fault". I've worked with people like this over the past 18 years. They get caught doing something wrong, so they try to deflect their guilt by pointing out someone else's short-comings. The bottom line is that you messed up - deal with it, take your medicine and get on with life.

This is something Susie and I try to teach our girls. I have a saying with Meg and Sara - "If you're gonna' play, you gotta' pay!" We use this one alot when they beg to stay up late and they have a hard time waking up the next morning. My dad always taught me that nothing is free, there's a cost for everything. If you do one thing, you're going to have to give up something else. That's just the way life is.

I'll readily admit that I've got more than my share of faults. I'm not trying to pick at splinters here with others and thereby "deflect" from my own deficiencies so that no one can see them. It's just amazing how some people want authority but refuse to accept responsibility. You can't really have one without the other.....