new exclusive line of barbie dolls.....

Thanks to this forward from Stephanie, Jennifer and the bride:

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie dolls, made especially for the Nashville market.

'Brentwood Barbie’ This princess Barbie is sold only at Green Hills Mall. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, and a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.


'Hendersonville Barbie'
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with the Ford
Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit.
She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.
Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.


'Gallatin Barbie'
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray
Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit.
This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash
(preferably small, untraceable bills) ...unless you are a cop, then
we don't know what you are talking about.



'Cool Springs Barbie'
This Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible, or
Hummer H2. Included are her Starbucks cup, credit card, and
country club membership. Also available for this set are
Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper.
You won't be able to afford any of them.

'Ridgetop Barbie '
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans
two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and Tweety Bird tattoo
on her shoulder. Included is a six-pack of Bud Light and a Hank Jr.
CD. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt
when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and ge t
a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.


'West End Barbie'
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print
outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends.
Percocet prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo.




'Springfield Barbie'
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
beer-gutted Ken out of Ridgetop Barbie's house. Her ensemble
includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through
halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.



'Vanderbilt Barbie'
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long str aight brown hair,
archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white
socks. She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or
need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Vanderbilt Barbies and the
optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.






' Bellevue Barbie'
She's perfect in every way.
We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-'huntin'.




' Dickerson Road Barbie/Ken'
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken
by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.