things i learned on vacation.....

The week at North Myrtle Beach went by much too fast. A good time was had by all. I survived the car trip to and from the beach with five females, and they survived the car trip with me and my rants about/in traffic.

Here's some stuff I learned while on vacation:

* Never try to get on the interstate behind an elderly man delivering two pallets of cinderblocks in his 1960-something pickup. He's in no hurry to do the speed limit, he can really screw up traffic, and he can almost get you killed.

* When trying to swim out to where the waves are breaking in the ocean, it's best to just face them head on and dive into them rather than to try and dodge them. There's a life metaphor in there somewhere.

* Family picture time at the beach can be more stressful than a prostate exam.

* Always take a watch when walking on the beach. If you don't, you can walk for 6 miles on the first day and your feet will be really raw the rest of the week.

* It doesn't matter how much food and snack stuff you lug for 640 miles in your van that's supposed to last the whole week, you're still going to have to make an average of 5.7 trips to Wal Mart and/or the grocery store while you're there.

* Seinfeld episodes are better when viewed with close friends.

* Broadway at the Beach is the most crowded place in the world during the summer months. It's like walking through a flabby-armed spanking machine.

* Black squirrels at the golf courses on the Grand Strand can actually lift 20 ounce styrofoam cups of iced tea up out of a golf cart.

* Husbands and wives can sometimes have different definitions of what's bad and what's not so bad. Especially at Steak 'n Shake.

OK, so vacation's over. Now I'm ready for college football season.....