gambling addiction update.....

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST IS COMPLETELY FICTION, SO PLEASE READ IT AS SUCH. I HAVE A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL WIFE WHO IS A LOVING, CARING MOTHER. THE FOLLOWING IS SIMPLY, AS AUSTIN POWERS WOULD SAY, FOR GRINS AND GIGGLES.

I came home, after Sara's softball practice last night, to a house without my wife. Yes, she's at it again. She yielded to the strong force of snack food and dice known as Bunco.....

Should I really call it an addiction? I mean, it's only once a month. It's not like she sneaks out between Bunco nights and finds other Bunco games (that I'm aware of). But last night was different.....she came home later than normal. As I comforted our crying children, amidst whimpers of "when's Mommy coming back home?" and "can you show me a picture of Mommy so I'll remember what she looks like?", I couldn't help looking at the clock.

I put Sara to bed, and calmed her down. She finally went to sleep with the assurance that, even though Mommy wouldn't be there to see her tonight, Mommy would be there for her in the morning. Meg seemed to be OK, but I knew she could sense my concern. We gave each other that knowing "she's doing it again" look, and left it at that. Older children are good at that, and I'm proud of the way she's handling this ordeal.

I tried to pass the time by reading. That's one thing I enjoy about reading - you can "get out of yourself" and become the character(s) in the book. But that doesn't last for long. I started asking myself, "what is it that Bunco gives her that I can't?" I might as well had been beating my head against the pavement in an effort to soothe an aching head - trying to solve this problem is seemingly useless. I questioned myself, wondering what I could do differently. (This is pretty common in spouses of addicts.) What's sad is when the girls find a stray dice under the couch and say something like "Mommy's special friend?"; I have to turn away so as not to show my emotions in front of them. I keep telling myself that I HAVE to be strong for the children.

I may even be an enabler. A few weeks ago, I was at Stein Mart and saw a clearance table. I purchased some Bunco plates for the bride, since she would be hosting the event at our home that month. In my heart, I felt that it was the right thing to do because I knew it would make her happy, but now I'm not so sure.

I don't think I'm the only guy on our street feeling this pain. We don't talk about it openly, men never do; but we sometimes speak in generalities about the monthly event. We may not be forthright with our feelings, but the sting is obviously there. I'm not trying to excuse the bride's actions by saying "everybody's doing it" or anything. The problem seems to be bigger than just one or two women, though.

I guess the best thing I can do is share my story with other men facing the same issue. I'm thinking of giving the husbands on the street my 'blog address so that they can know they're not alone in this situation. Maybe we'll start a support group and meet once a month, or whenever necessary, and open up channels of communication between one another. Perhaps we'll have a "buddy system" where that men can call their "buddy" whenever they feel the need to talk about their concerns with the addiction our wives are all facing.

I'm not going to fool myself, it won't be easy. It's going to take alot of hard work. But in the end, I know it will be worth it. The women on our street need to know that they have husbands and children who love them very much, and are there for them at all times. Some of the wives may not completely understand or believe this, but I want to make sure that my bride undertands this. We love you, honey, and we want to help you through this. There won't be any judgement on our part, just understanding and love. We're your family, and we're here for you.....