government dictionary needed

Isn't it amazing how some words have different meanings to different people? Take, for example, the word "express." Merriam-Webster Online defines the word as "traveling at high speed; specifically : traveling with few or no stops along the way." This word takes on a new meaning when you step into the realm of the department of motor vehicles.

I chose to go to the "express" location for two reasons: first, because it's just a couple of blocks from my office, and second, because I thought "express" implied that it would be fast. I was correct with the first assumption - it was only two blocks from my office. The "fast" assumption was blown to bits. And I knew it wouldn't be fast because not only did they have one of those "take a number" machines, but also by the looks on the faces of everyone in the room. When I first walked in, I saw one person standing at the desk, so I thought "this will be a breeze!" Then I looked to my right and saw about 20 people sitting in government-issued chairs, looking a bit like detainees in a refugee camp. (Seinfeld once said that the DMV was a leper colony, and his description is not too far off.) There's a bit of community going on, because everyone's in the same boat. When someone's number is called, you can see the relief on their face. That relief can sometimes change to disgust when the guy behind the counter says "we don't do that here" after they've waited for over an hour. One lady even asked for the name of the guy's supervisor. Like that's gonna' do any good! So I sat with everyone there for about an hour and ten minutes. One of my fellow "waiters" there said this was nothing, that another office in Nashville had wait times of three and a half hours. I thought, "they've gotten to him and brainwashed him into thinking this is really fast!"

70 minutes after walking in the door, the number 25 was called. My time at the desk, including the "photo shoot", was less than 4 minutes. They didn't have that much to work with, but my photo was actually decent. When compared to my last drivers license, it looks like I'd been to Olan Mills. My last license looked as if the photo had been taken after someone had broken wind and I was the first recipient of the "gift" as it wafted through the air.

The good news is that I've gotten this adventure out of the way, and that I don't have to go back for another ten years. By then, I'll be almost 50. Maybe I'll be more patient then, I don't know. Maybe I or some other member of my family will have won the lottery and I'll be retired by then, and I'll have plenty of spare time to wait. Or maybe the state will have figured out a way to speed the process along. Yeah, right.....I think the lottery thing has a better chance of happening.....